Patty Kimerer column

Celebrating Kelly … and cowering from the crowd

I can’t tell you how proud I am of my niece Kelly. But I’m going to try anyway. Since she was just a wee little lass with those huge blue eyes and that Shirley Temple-esque curly blonde hair, that girl has been making me smile. Just like her brother and little cousin. Those three are ...

Every mom’s a gem, but mine’s the most precious

“Friends” may well have been the best sitcom to come out of the 1990s. IMHO. I loved those six fictional pals and my real ones will tell you that I can quote any scene from any episode with total recall. A favorite is the one in which Monica and Chandler break it to the group that they ...

Don’t spoil ‘End Game’ or I will tell Thor

Remember when you were little and couldn’t wait to open your presents on Christmas morning? Man, I can still see the whole scenario in my mind’s eye. Getting up before the sun to race into the living room (that’s what we called it back then) with my siblings. I’m not going to name ...

Searching for time machine to flip-flopping

It’s funny how, when you’re young, you want to get old. I mean, you do. It’s natural, really. The humans have even made feature films about it. “Big,” starring a very young Tom Hanks back in 1988, was the story about a 12-year-old boy who, impatient to become an adult after being ...

Pausing to reflect on this Easter Sunday

It happened so distantly, That injustice on Golgotha But not an Easter goes by When we don’t relieve the drama. From the Sunday before When the crowds raised palms And sent up “Hurrahs!” And praised high and long. But as the week unfolded He calmly went about The work ...

Dumb overachievers are all pretty annoying

Do you know any of those humans who are really great at everything? You know, they try their hand — make that feet — at soccer and excel. Then they use those feet to run track a few years later and qualify for junior high champs. All the while, they’ve been intermittently swimming and ...

Everybody is a critic when it comes to movies

A million years ago when pterodactyls filled the sky and PK first started working in print, I wrote many types of articles: human interest pieces, one-day travel features, health reports and my all-time fave — reviews. Mostly, they were about local theatrical productions. I must admit to ...

Another trip around sun and wishes are small

I recently celebrated another full, personal revolution around the sun. In PK years, I’m 51. Which means, I am officially older than: Fla-Vor-Ice, Sesame Street, Tic Tacs, PBS (for some reason, that one really smarts), Scooby Doo (zoinks!), Funyuns (remember those yummy, crunchy ...

Self-talk can help — unless you pick a fight

It happened last Wednesday. It was roughly 5:30 p.m., just about the time for a full day’s worth — make that a half week’s worth — of frustration to come spilling out. Literally. I was indignantly shutting down my computer and clearing off my desk following a particularly tough ...

St. Pat: More popular than the Kardashians

St. Patrick’s Day means a lot of different things to a wide assortment of humans ’round the globe. Yeah, that’s what I said. According to an article by The Business Insider last fall, the celebration is a worldwide one. Historians Mike Cronin and Daryl Adair report that it is celebrated ...

Of course you can always make this stuff up

You can’t make this stuff up. I’ve always wondered why people say that? People make stuff up all the time. Liars. Fiction novelists. Film authors. Politicians (oh, sorry, I already covered that in the first mention). Actors. Teachers. Parents. Teenagers caught sneaking in after curfew. ...

Just the facts, ma’am, but I’d prefer the food

Remember the show “Dragnet”? Wikipedia does: “Dragnet is an American radio, television and motion-picture series enacting the cases of a dedicated Los Angeles police detective Sgt. Joe Friday and his partners.” It debuted in 1951, ran for eight years, then came back in 1967 for a ...

Leaving the Oscars in her (gold) dust tonight

Here we are, the last Sunday in February — aka, Oscar Night. As everyone knows by now, this evening in the Dolby Theater in Hollywood, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will honor the best films (and their writers, directors, actors, et al) of 2018 as they present the 91st ...

Celebrate Presidents Day by supporting Dolly

Presidents Day — that perfect time to reflect on the amazing accomplishments achieved by the late, great U.S. Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, among others. It’s an ideal opportunity to venerate their courage, their integrity, their commitment to the development of this ...

Calling Cupid: Please send gourmet grub

Remember when you were a little kid and you had to make your Valentine’s Day box? Sure you do. Every year, school children from kindergarten (I guess I’m so old that I was pre-preschool?) through about sixth grade, I guess, would have to make a special receptacle for the dozens of tiny ...

Here’s what I hate, er, love about winter

You know when Sulley and Mike get banished from the institute in Monsters Inc.? That’s how I feel every February. Just like I’ve been ripped from any semblance of warmth, hearth and, frankly, joy and dropped into... well, The Himalayas. #IDontDoColdWell But add the fiendish phenomenon ...

Where oh where has my little bag gone?

I’d love to tell you a little bit about my favorite suitcase. It’s a red, expandable carry-on piece made by, er, Protege, I believe. It’s 21 inches tall and about 9 inches deep — um, I think. It has those handy-dandy, deep, stretchy pockets and foldaway zipper compartments that are ...

Good grief, Patty, why are you so thin-skinned?

It’s a label I’ve carried with me for some time. Most of my life, actually. Well, at least since I was old enough to talk — and understand what the humans around me were saying when they conversed, too. Chatty Patty spoke early, I’m told. Guess I’ve always had lots to say? Hee. I ...

Why can’t we be friends? Let me tell ya!

Everyone who knows me knows that PK is a lover, not a fighter. In fact, I like to think of myself as a pretty OK Homo sapien; I hope most of the other ones in my little spot on the globe concur. I try to be easy-going, tolerant, compassionate, kind of heart, and grateful and giving. Natch, ...

Change bad. Just ask Cruella Cave Wife

The humans really hate change. They just do. They fight it like a toddler with his naptime or a teenager with her curfew or Floyd Mayweather with um, pretty much anything. It’s an unfortunate truth that we just don’t handle conversions, adjustments, and / or transformations well, as a ...