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Burton Cole column

Mow the hay in the mow and give a read to words read in different ways

Cousin Ollie snugged another bale of hay into place. Our pirate ship of timothy and clover was almost complete. "We should call these Hayos," he said. "You know, like Legos, only bigger." "I don't think it'll catch on," I said. "Sure it will," he said. "Hay bales are Legos for farm kids. ...

Granddad leafs through his raked-up pile of autumn jokes

Hey, quick, tell me, if money actually grew on trees, what would everyon’e favorite season be? Fall, of course! Oh, what do you get when your drop a pumpkin? Yep, squash. You heard what happened when the turkey got into a fight, right? He got the stuffing knocked out of him. As of 9:04 ...

Eight ball, and the car keys, in the corner pocket

“Aren’t those the same pants you wore yesterday?” “Of course,” I said. “The pockets were already loaded.” His eyebrows arched. “With what?” “Keys, pens, cards, coins, memory stick, phone — everything in its pocketed place and ready to go.” I don’t need trendy ...

Is this real life? Is this (budget) just fantasy?

I rechecked the numbers, praying for a glorious mistake. Nope. The math was correct. “We’ve got to stop indulging our whims and fancies,” I said. “We can’t afford it.” “I’ve laid in a good supply of fancies in the root cellar. That should hold us for a while,” Terry said. ...

Junior Auto Mechanic calls out the right word — ‘Help!’

Her car was very, very dead. I parked behind her, my four-ways flashing, and offered to look under the hood. I grew up with Backyard Auto Mechanics who were always hunched under hoods, coaxing vehicles to roaring zest with a few deft moves with hammers, wrenches and the occasional stick of ...

Is it science or sense to hide beneath cinched hoodies?

Forbes magazine recently asked, “Is there science behind why teens wear hoodies in the summer?” You may not believe this, but I myself was once a teen. It’s true. I was. I remember this one time when Georgie Washington, Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin and I were out playing tag behind ...