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Patty Kimerer column

Pondering stuff that only Italians will get

I was chatting with my bella cousin Mary Ann recently. Oh, bella means beautiful, for y’all non-Italians, BT dubs. Anyway, my cugina (come on now, you can figure that one out on your own, no?) and I were waxing nostalgic, philosophical, political and flipping hysterical as we laughed and ...

Cheers to 26 years of holding that cute guy’s hand

I’ve learned a lot of stuff in my 53 years circling the sun. Some of it really, really helpful. Some of it I immediately filed into the BFI dumpster, yo. But most of it accumulated over the last 26 years, since I married that cute boy with the adorable smile on Sept. 2, 1995. When you live ...

What’s cool about mice in the kitchen? Nothing

You know what’s really cool about finding a mouse in your house? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Niente — that would be Italian for nuttin’. I know, I know. People think mice are cute. You know, because they’re all furry and fuzzy and squeaky. Hmpf. Plus, they’ve got those adorably ...

Next stop for college kid’s mom — Mayberyville

The thing about sending your kid back to college after spending an extended spring / summer / COVID break with him is... well, I don’t wanna. Loud, exaggerated HMPF. Er, maybe even supersonic SIGH. OK, fine, big old snotty SNIFF. All right, ya got me already — heaving SOBS of sadness, ...

Raiders of rudeness trigger spasms of sarcasm

It’s funny how brave the humans are sometimes. And when I say brave, I am, of course, being snarky as snot. Wait, can snot be snarky? Hmm. How about slimy as snot? Slippery as snot? Stinky as snot? BAM. I’m totally being stinky as snot. My main point is this: There is many an ...

Sending earrings to the big garage sale in the sky

It was a good, long run. Most people don’t have even half the time we had together. If I’m being honest, I knew the day would come that we’d be separated ... that we would lose contact entirely and that one, sad, cold, lonely day, er, in August, as it turns out, that it would be ...