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Patty Kimerer column

Let’s get together and celebrate our nation

It’s funny really, the wide variety of meanings a single word can convey. For instance, take the word “curfew.” For parents, this is a word that ensures healthy guidelines, necessary structure and some modicum of safety. It’s generally considered positive. To teenagers it’s a ...

Just wear the flippity-flopping mask already

It worked for Zorro. It works for all those singers on that oddly popular FOX-TV music show. It’s the highlight of many a themed ball, not to mention being a requirement for Mardi Gras, Carnivale and, of course, my least favorite “holiday” — Halloween. (Don’t get me started on why ...

2020: Super-sighs of disappointment, sadness

I don’t know anyone who thinks 2020 is a banner year. Sigh. In fact, it’s one for the books ... the horror genre, that is. And though it might seem paltry compared to current world and national events — lots of humans also are dealing with regular, run-of-the-mill, everyday heartbreak ...

Here’s hoping that 2021 looks more like 2019

I really don’t remember a lot about what I was doing on June 14, 2019. I know it was only 12 months ago, but at this point, it might as well have been 12 decades ago, am I right? I am wracking my brain trying to remember what a typical day was like last June. As I recall, it was a rather ...

Everything old is new in the post-COVID world

As the world tries to reinvent the way the humans work, play, function, maneuver, entertain and even feed ourselves, it’s clear: Some stuff just ain’t ever gonna be quite the same as it was before, a’ight? I mean, it’s obvious that distancing — or what Pop used to call living under ...

With winter over, the AC steps up as new enemy

Well, it finally happened. It was inevitable, really. I mean, after this long, cold Groundhog’s Day of a winter (I swear it was March for 114 days!), we knew this time would come eventually. It just wasn’t clear exactly when ... and / or how stable a situation we’d be facing as it ...

Scrumptious pandemic pancakes pack on pounds

Memorial Day weekend 2020. Hmm. On one hand, I think the fact that we’re all supposed to continue stay home, social distance from one another and observe all the other safe health practices that will help us crush that crummy curve offers one distinct benefit to this year’s ...

Look on the bright side at the pandemic pluses

Well, it’s been two months. Like two, full flipping months. How ya hangin’ in there, my peeps? Yeah, me, too. Blech. #OverIt I know there’s lots to be scared about out there in the big old pandemic world these days. Sick as we are of being in the casa, the thought of leaving it? ...

This old girl’s still learning, thanks to mom

It’s Sunday. At least, I think it is. It’s getting harder and harder to distinguish between the earthly axis rotations right now, am I right? In fact, for those of us in NE Ohio and NW Pennsylvania, it’s pretty much still the dead of winter. Come on, already, Mother Nature; I’m ...

Leave Han Solo — ahem, Harrison Ford — alone

Well, it’s been another week of wacky here on planet Earth. California beaches were opened for 47 seconds before rule-breakers cramming the sands — and each other at a social distance of about .5 mm — ruined it for everyone. Nimrods. Continuing controversy and drama surrounding the ...

Staying home all day, every day rocks — said no one ever

Oh my gosh, I absolutely LOVE being home all the time, every single day, 24/7. It’s nothing short of awesome, being confined to the house for work, play and every other imaginable human action. Toss in the total fabulosity known as the daily (I’m sorry, not daily, hourly; no, wait, ...

It’s finally time to get back to reality … reality TV, that is

I missed them. I didn’t think I would, but I did. Well, I knew I’d miss Erika. She’s wicked cool, after all. But the rest of them, I didn’t really plan on pining after. Except the big B. Sure, I knew I’d be reeling from Bethenny withdrawals. She’s my favorite of all of them, BT ...

On this silent night, all was quiet and calm

Most people don’t know this. Actually, I’m not sure anyone does — or they didn’t until now. I’m a bit of an insomniac. That’s not the secret part. My poor sleep pattern is near legendary among my circle of humans, by the by. No, the previously undisclosed info is that quite often ...

Quarantine makes for one slightly crabby Patty

Well, the global Groundhog Day scenario continues, eh? Hmpf. I feel you, friends. And yep, there’s no denying it: Our current sitch here on the third rock is scaring the stuffings out of old PK. Period. So I feel the need to again remind everyone of the CDC COVID-19 Guidelines for ...

Low-maintenance girls are quarantine queens

You know, now is when it finally pays off to be me. Oh, I know, I’m a dork by all estimations and of fairly considerable percentage. I don’t carry designer bags. I buy formal dresswear exclusively from the clearance bin. On the rare occasion you see nail polish on these man hands of ...

Working from home is a sacrifice we can all enjoy

We’re not talking about it. Okay, we technically are. But I’m not mentioning IT, specifically. Well, not by name, expressly. This week, anyway. Not because I’m not taking it seriously. I am. Boy, am I. It’s not because I’m not scared. I am. Man, am I. It’s not that I don’t ...

We’ll get through this together, at a distance

You probably haven’t heard much about it yet in your area. It’s a new thing, really. Just burst onto the scene about back in ... oh, late December, I believe. Nah, I’m not referring to the whole deal with the super-jolly dude in red flying around on his big old sleigh with his cool ...

Pop was always there and will always be remembered

Fernando. Fred. Freddie. Hon. Dad. Foh-pa. Bop. Grandpa Marinucci. Honorary big brother. Mr. Marinucci. Marinuch. My father was called many different names by a myriad of folks. As for me? I called him Pop. I was pretty much the only one who referred to him that way. I think that’s ...

Don’t worry about what you hear; you know you

It all happened so quickly. It was over nearly before it started. “Are we the only ones in here?” I faintly heard one gal ask another from my stall at the far wall end of the ladies room. “I think so,” came the somewhat muted reply as I tried to whip up a sham sneeze in attempts to ...

Drowning in love with the life of a swim mom

Swim parents. We’re a breed unto ourselves, to be certain. Take one glance and it’s clear that we aren’t your typical sports moms and dads. Or aunts and uncles, grammas and grampas, or general fans of float. We don’t cuss, fuss or tell the coach how to wrangle his school of fish. ...