Ah, February, when a young man’s fancy turns to... Actually, I can’t recall. Too many decades have fluttered past since I’ve been a young man. But I can say with some authority that a cranky old geezer’s fancy turns to chocolate. And why not? The more doses of chocolate with which ...
I opened my underwear drawer and shrieked. “Terry! Somebody’s staring at me from beneath my boxers!” “Shh. You’ll wake the baby,” my wife whispered. “The baby’s 32 years old and lives 10 miles away,” I shouted. Terry patted my forearm. “What has you so worked up?” I ...
If the forecast proves true, you’re reading this with all the lights on because mountains of snow are blocking your windows. Then again, you might be wearing shorts and sandals, soaking up the sun on your front porch. Weather prognosticators were rather iffy on how much snow was coming ...
I don’t scream at the sight of a spider. Horror movies bore me. Rather than run, I relish the chance to speak in front of large crowds. But there is one thing that positively sends chills up and down my goosebumps: Someone asking for directions. I freeze. I forget if north is to the left ...
Random thoughts for the new year: • Life should come with background music. It would clear up a lot of confusion and possibly save lives. In movies and TV shows, when a character utters an important point, Boom! the big crescendo tells us so. We know to pay attention. If we hear the ...
Way back in fourth grade, I tried to calculate my odds of living long enough to see the year 2000. I’d have to be something like 40 years old — ancient! As if ANYONE could live that long. Now we’re about to welcome the year 2019, and I’ll be something like 60 years — which seems ...
