Survey says valentines like a box of chocolates

Burt's Eye View

Valentine’s Day wings its way across the calendar this week, but according to a marketing survey more than a third of you — OK, us — won’t spend a cent on it.

(The survey said nothing about the after Valentine’s chocolate sales, which is when I spend my loving loot. It may be wrapped in red foil or doused in pink food coloring, but chocolate is chocolate, and getting it cheaper tastes better.)

The survey released last week by Offers.com claims that here in Ohio, 44 percent of us will spend $1 to $50 on our Valentine, 35 percent of us will spend nothing, and 14 percent will spend $101 to $150.

We’re a bunch of cheapskates. I mean, sensible, thrifty people.

That leaves 7 percent — those about to get engaged, or the guys in BIG trouble who need impressive apology gifts — to fling more than $150 in the path of Cupid’s arrows.

Online.com says we Ohioans also know how to shop deliciously. Forty-four percent of us buy chocolate or other candy.

Among the less useful gifts, it’s jewelry, 10 percent, and flowers, 9 percent.

Oh, but it can’t be just any candy. A survey from CandyStore.com collects retail data to know exactly what kind of sweetness we crave in each state.

In Ohio, we’re all about the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. That’s followed by conversation hearts in second and Wild Berry Skittles as third choice.

Pro tip: There’s a reason No. 1 is No. 1.

Do your taste buds fancy a different treat? Then snag a Valentine from another state.

Not from Indiana or New York — they love their heart-shaped boxes, too — but maybe Pennsylvania, Iowa or Idaho (M&Ms), or South Dakota, Delaware or Arkansas (Hershey’s Kisses), or perhaps Wyoming (chocolate roses).

Pro tip: Stay away from Alabama. The No. 1 Bama treat is candy necklaces, followed by conversation hearts. Boxes of chocolate rank third, according to CandyStore.com.

A separate survey released by Offers.com asked sweet-toothed sweethearts to name their favorite type of treat. The results: Pretty much, if it starts with the letter “C” and isn’t celery, you’re good.

Nationally, it’s chocolate, 27 percent; champagne, 9 percent; cupcakes, 7 percent; candy hearts, 6 percent; cookies, 6 percent; and cinnamon hearts, 4 percent.

Oddly, that left 52 percent — that’s right, more than half — of the respondents claiming they preferred NO sweets on Valentine’s Day.

This could explain why 35 percent of us will spend nothing for Valentine’s Day — what’s the point?

(My guess is that the other 17 percent spending money on the no-treats people know they’ll get to eat the box of chocolates themselves.)

Whatever you choose, even if it’s nothing, it’s important for your sweetie to know that you could do worse. Really.

I have in my hand another survey, this one from British-based Beaverbrooks the Jewellers, as reported by the Daily Mirror in London. According to Beaverbrooks, 56 percent of women surveyed have been disappointed with the tokens of affection presented to them on Valentine’s Day.

Suspect gifts included a tin of baked beans, an ironing board cover, a screwdriver set, a wheelbarrow, a single tea bag, a sausage roll, a plastic sheep, a toy snake, shaving cream, a live tarantula and a flashlight.

Pro tip: If you have one or more of the above gifts ready to give on Valentine’s Day, there’s still time to save your relationship, dignity and possibly your life. Heart-shaped box of chocolates. Go. Now.

Have a happy, sweet — and SAFE — Valentine’s Day.

— Send Cole love notes — or better yet, chocolate — at, the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook or @BurtonWCole on Twitter.