Few things bring out the blush in your cheeks like forgetting your cellphone at someone else’s place. It gives your friends hard evidence of something they’ve long suspected — your synapses are firing a couple of spark plugs short. “Poor ol’ George,” they’d say — providing ...
Amid a bludgeoning of news about floods, fires, assaults, walls, cheats, liars, murders and other mayhem, a pastoral headline went largely overlooked: Oklahoma City’s airport no longer is selling cow-tipping T-shirts. After more than 10 years, Will Rogers World Airport has sold out of ...
The more a man talks, the less likely he is to say something significant. That’s the word from several experts on the subject, all of whom happen to be female. Most are related to me. According to their standard of worthy talk, I haven’t engaged in a meaningful conversation since 1983. I ...
It’s not that boys intend to irritate their parents. We just have gigantic imaginations overwhelming teeny tiny filters in our brains. If a notion pops into our heads, we already are embarking on the adventure that will hereafter be known as “the incident” before any flicker of common sense can tackle us. When my brothers and I were little, Mom would chuck us into the bathtub together. This was before we switched to showers and I tried to invent the two-for-one-cleaning system. Eight-year-old me figured that both dishes and showers involved soap, running water and a scrubber. We ...
In retrospect, loaner spouses was a bad idea. I pitched the plan years ago in this space. In my defense, I was single at the time. I based the theory on trips to my auto mechanic. There’s only so long that you can ignore the shakes and shudders, the groans and moans, the passing of gas and odd odors. In my Jeep, I mean, not me. A few bruises are to be expected after some 160,000 miles of aging. When they hustle my Jeep onto the auto surgeon’s rack and open her up, the news is nearly fatal for my credit card. But here’s the cool part — while my broken down Jeep heals at the ...
Valentine’s Day wings its way across the calendar this week, but according to a marketing survey more than a third of you — OK, us — won’t spend a cent on it. (The survey said nothing about the after Valentine’s chocolate sales, which is when I spend my loving loot. It may be wrapped in red foil or doused in pink food coloring, but chocolate is chocolate, and getting it cheaper tastes better.) The survey released last week by Offers.com claims that here in Ohio, 44 percent of us will spend $1 to $50 on our Valentine, 35 percent of us will spend nothing, and 14 percent will ...
