Metro Creative

The FBI publishes an annual report of internet crimes with an emphasis on scams targeting older adults. In the most recent report, romance scams continue to show continuous growth over the past few years, with seniors over 65-years old reporting losses of more than $131 million. That is a significant number, but pales in comparison to the probable real number, considering only about half of romance scams are ever reported due to victim shame and embarrassment.

Many older adults suffer the loss of a mate as time goes on, leaving a huge void in many lives. Lonely, eager for company and hopeful of finding, just possibly, a new love in your life is a much bigger deal for a 75-year-old than a 25-year-old person. Scammers are avid students of the senior psyche and know how rich the pickings can be from a lonely older adult looking for love in all the wrong places.

More than 50% of older adults report they know little about romance scams. If you are one of these uninformed people, please pay attention to the following language from your new, relatively unknown internet lover. These statements are lies and, according to the Federal Trade Commission, are commonly used in romance scams.

• “I or someone close to me is sick, hurt or in jail.”

• “I can teach you how to invest.”

• “I’m in the military, far away.”

• “We’ve never met, but let’s talk about marriage.”

• “I’ve come into some money or gold.”

• “I’m on an oil rig or ship.”

• “You can trust me with your private pictures.”

The last statement is especially troubling and indicates a growing trend in elder romance scams, “sextortion.” This happens when your new internet love talks you into sending explicit photos of yourself — and then demands payment if you don’t want your photos sent to all your social media contacts. Seniors have also been threatened with physical violence if they don’t pay up. The FBI reports people under 20 lost about $1.2 million to sextortion scams in 2025. In the same period, people over 60 reported losses of $14.8 million to “sextortionists.”

Other signs of a romance scam include:

• They contacted you — not the other way around.

• The photos they send are shockingly attractive.

• You met on an online dating site — but they want you to leave it now.

• Your internet acquaintance starts talking about love and marriage uncomfortably soon.

• When you try to set up a video call, there is always a reason why it can’t happen.

• As your romance blossoms, there is an emergency, and you need to send money.

• Your lover starts to talk about cryptocurrency and how much you can make in it.

• When you do some research, your friend doesn’t appear to exist anywhere at all.

• If you start asking questions, you are accused of being unfairly suspicious.

• Your new love is far away, overseas or serving in a “secret” location with the military.

If you, or someone you know, is involved in a situation that has these characteristics, tread very slowly and do NOT send a dime, no matter how urgent the plea. Romance scammers are truly heartless and evil people, and from the stories I’ve heard, extremely smart and creative. The financial and emotional losses suffered by the victims are staggering, including the loss of all assets, even their homes.

Prospecting for a new mate or partner later in life is daunting. Avoid the internet and all the dating sites — the web is not the place for seniors seeking love.

The Valley abounds with civic organizations, community groups, service clubs and special interest groups that meet to discuss things like local history, nature, wildlife and birds, gardening or books. Go to that high school reunion you haven’t attended for 20 years. Volunteer to help at the polls. You could very well find that new person you’re looking for right under your nose.

Dave Long of Poland, a Youngstown State University graduate, is a retired public affairs officer with U.S. Customs and Border Protection who later worked as an Elder Scam Prevention Outreach specialist in Rochester, N.Y., before moving back to the Mahoning Valley.