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Patty Kimerer column

Contemplating the BIG issues at the end of another year

There’s nothing like the end of a year — especially one that concludes a decade — to make one reflective. I mean, there’s a reason “Auld Lange Syne” gets played 87 bazillion times annually between Dec. 26 and Jan. 1, capisce? The humans like to take time to think about what’s transpired in the past 365 days as they prepare to step forward into a new batch of ’em. You may or may not be aware that the iconic New Year’s Eve song is based on a 1788 Robert Burns poem. The phrase literally translates to “old long since,” or “days gone by.” Hence the connection ...

Time to put the to-do list aside and honor the season

And now, as always, the annual obligatory homage to “A Visit from St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore — as told by jolly ol’ PK. ’Twas three nights before Christmas When all through the casa I was losing my grip Like a falling Mufasa. The wedding soup was made, As were the lasagnas. But the still-unwrapped presents Were like circling piranhas. And then there was also The thought of biscotti That I had yet to make; Man, I needed a hot toddy! For the pressure of all That remained on my plate Was causing my head And my stomach to ache. To be ...

Don’t be a Christmas grump; let love into your heart

“You know it, I know it, and the American people know it,” Bob Dole used to say. He was right. In fact, I’m pretty sure humans everywhere on the third rock are aware of this universal truth: Giving = good and being stingy = bad. Period. But the tricky part isn’t necessarily in the giving ... well, depending on the act, I suppose. I mean, donating your new iPad, or your car, or a kidney ... I could see where those might be a bit costly or time-consuming or even, you know, leave a mark. I digress. Me? I happen to be of the mind that it’s not so much about the amount or the ...

Notes to my new mommy self: Chill and enjoy

Exactly 20 years ago today (down to the moment, depending on when you read the paper), I brought home the best early Christmas present I ever will receive: my baby boy. Yep, it was cold and snowy on Dec. 8, 1999. I remember clearly because the chilled air had me wrapping that infant tighter than Ebenezer Scrooge clutches a dollar bill, know what I’m sayin’? Soon, he and I were wheeled out into parking lot of the hospital, where on Dec. 6 (2 1/2 weeks early!), Kyle Kimerer made his big entrance on the third rock ... and his mother nearly made her exit. Yeah, I almost bought the ...

Let Ralphie’s story lead you into holiday hustle

Well, this is it. Crunch time. T minus 23 shopping days and counting. Or would it be T-minus 24 days? I mean, technically there ARE stores open on Christmas Day. Hmpf. As fictional matriarch Marie Barone of the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond” often told her son: “I don’t like that, Raymond.” Me neither, Marie. In fact, I think it’s pretty crummy. Remember back when everything was closed on Christmas? Well, everything but a random Chinese restaurant waiting for the occasional, desperate holiday-dinner-gone-wrong family to wander in. Yep, those were the days when all was ...

‘Twas the night before Black Friday, and I’m staying home

I’m breaking with tradition a little … and rushing the seasonal theme a tad, I know! But I thought I’d take a humorous angle on Turkey Day ala Clement Moore’s, “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” Don’t worry, you’ll still get saddled with that one next month, too. I digress. ‘Twas the Sunday before Thanksgiving When everyone in the fam Was all stocked up groceries Everything except SPAM. Not the kind in your inbox But the kind in the can; The faux meat that smells suspect With the consistency of jam. Either way, we all readied To make dishes galore, From the ...