Among the greatest pestilences, plagues and pesky problems known to mankind — to womankind, too — is the earworm. An earworm is created when a bouncy song with lots of rhythmic repetition floats on the airwaves, gains too much altitude, freezes, and a chunk of the tune breaks off. ...
In the old days when I wanted a new car, I saved cereal box tops. Better yet, my new wheels came free inside the box. I was 8 years old and the cars fit in the palm of my hand, but let me tell you, that Monkeemobile was one sweet ride. “Here I come, drivin’ down the breakfast table...” ...
The return address on the plain, white envelope was marked, “Ohio Department of Aging.” I opened it. “Congratulations!” the letter inside proclaimed. “You’ve joined the ranks of nearly 2.4 million Ohioans eligible for a Golden Buckeye Card.” My passport to geezerdom had ...
I once heard of a man who decided to take a walk, so he got right up and did so. That man was single. If you’re married with children, you never get right up and do anything. A simple act of going to the store for a loaf of bread takes on all the rigors, debates and sidetracks of a ...
People keep telling me things I don’t want to hear. My blood pressure would improve to perfection if I had a human mute button. I’d call it the serenity button. I got the idea from my television. If a loudmouthed spokesman starts a commercial by yelling, “You’ll want to hear this!” ...
The summer heat is melting my brain. “Have you noticed that I’ve been doing weird things lately?” I asked Terry the other day in the car. “No more (something, something) than usual,” my softspoken wife said. I twisted the volume knob. “Why did you (something, something) do ...
