I am perplexed. Baffled, befuddled and buffaloed, too. I thought — to paraphrase the great philosopher Spider-Man — that with great age came great wisdom. The aging thing I’ve got. My Golden Buckeye Card will arrive any day and I’m only a couple years away from being legally eligible ...
I hate it when truths that I hold to be self-evident turn out to be mere myths. It ruins my whole day. Did you know that maximum speed for a road runner is 20 mph while a coyote tops out at 43 mph? That means Wile E. Coyote could have caught the Road Runner without breaking a sweat — or any ...
A guy learns a lot having a 10-year-old grandson. Mostly, a guy learns that he can’t run, jump, climb or wrestle more than seven seconds without gasping, wheezing and collapsing. The second thing a guy learns is that he’s become horribly out of touch. I remember watching the Grammy ...
The great philosopher Patrick F. McManus once wrote, “No greater bond exists between two male friends than shared ignorance.” In his 1995 essay “Hunting the Wily Avid,” McManus asserts, “Shared knowledge is fine as far as it goes, but one friend invariably knows more about a given ...
I awoke this morning in the usual way — to the whooping of my alarm. Or maybe it was to the microwave beeping to let my wife know her mug full of coffee was heated. I blipped, beeped and blooped my way through the morning routine. The timer on the oven bip-bip-bipped when the oatmeal was ...
Editor’s note: It’s hard to believe but Burton Cole is on vacation again. While he’s snoozing, we bring you this Cole Classic from June 27, 2004, when Burt was still a bachelor — which explains his behavior. We are diving headlong into another picnic season, and you know what that means: It’s time to stock up on the throwaway goodies that you will just end up washing all summer long. Or maybe your family isn’t like mine. Maybe you actually dispose of things marked disposable. Somebody must. Otherwise, America wouldn’t be labeled a use-it-and-chuck-it nation. Not me. I ...
