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Burton Cole column

Just chillin’ while my friends write my vacation column

I harbor big travel plans for my vacation week. I plan to wander from the bedroom all the way to the living room — but not every day. Some days, I’ll do nothing at all, except maybe take a side trip to the refrigerator. Not that I won’t leave the house at all on vacation. It’s that I ...

We’ll be back to sleep after jingles from our sponsors

Gimme a break, gimme a break, the advertising jingles are jangling creases in my cranium. I popped awake the other morning in mid-jingle: “Fat kids, skinny kids / Kids who climb on rocks / Tough kids, sissy kids / Even kids with chicken pox.” My bride blinked. “Why are you singing ...

Nothing succeeds like failure — and power naps

My life didn’t end when I failed. It just felt like it. There are only so many times a person gets knocked down before he says, “While I’m lying here, I might as well take a nap. I’ll get back up and try again later. Maybe. We’ll see.” I grew up in an era when failure “built ...

World’s most dangerous question: Are you busy?

Perhaps the world’s most treacherous question is, “Are you busy?” Danger, Will Robinson! You’re about to be in trouble. Way back when I was a cub reporter and dinosaurs roamed the earth, my editor caught me leafing through that day’s edition of the stone tablets. He tugged on his ...

Why aren’t brownies, potato salad superfoods?

Why isn’t potato salad a superfood? Or barbecued chicken wings? Or hot fudge brownie sundaes? They all sound super to me. My professional health care provider disagrees. Superfoods turn out to be weird substances like chia seeds, quinoa and kale that technically might not be food at ...

Old cars and aging drivers — we’re classics

Finally! I’m above average. Or at least my car is. The average age of vehicles on U.S. roadways is 12.1 years, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics. I find that surprising. Not the age of the cars — but that there’s a Bureau of Transportation Statistics. Somebody has ...