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Burton Cole column

As I told Elvis the other day, I remember it well

The scene is imprinted in my memory in full Kodachrome color. There I was, hoofing it at a pretty good pace on my daily 10-mile run, when suddenly out of the woods burst a ... No, wait. That was somebody else. I know it wasn’t me because I haven’t run a roll of Kodachrome in years. Or ...

Do you hear what irksome thing I hear?

Bouncing my leg. Clicking my pen. Breathing. These are just a few of my favorite things that repeatedly annoy my wife’s low tolerance for noise. Terry has sensitive ears. Mine barely work. No, that’s not true. Terry has a very soft voice. And the volume control on our TV and CD player ...

What happened to the simple things of life that I knew how to work?

Before I became a fossil, I used to be able to do things. That was before young punk kids improved simple tasks, complicating them beyond human capability. Or beyond mine. When I was a kid, we turned on the black-and-white TV by actually turning a knob. That’s why it’s called “turning ...

Don’t tell me I’m growing up!

It’s finally come to this. I tried to deny it. Ignore it and it will go away. La, la, la, la, I can’t hear you. Despite my best Peter Pan efforts, it happened anyway. I fear that I am growing up. I pondered this while sipping my wife’s coffee. That’s when I knew. For more than 60 ...

Following gender roles, or maybe not

Pro tip for husbands: I have never been yelled at for washing dishes. I have been told ahead of time to leave the dishes alone, that it’s not my responsibility, that she’ll wash them when she comes home. But I’ve noted that if I sneak into the kitchen and do them, I don’t get a ...