“I’m going for the gold,” she said. “That’s nice.” I nodded. “Or maybe the silver. Do you think I should pick the red instead?” “I don’t care. Get one purple, and one orange. Whatever. Just pick something. Shoe shopping isn’t an Olympic event.” She tsk-tsked me. ...

You wouldn’t know it, but I grew up among outdoorsmen. Most of my neighbors were sportsmen. At this very minute, a great deal of my uncles and cousins probably are tromping through some marshy timberland or are splashing about some lake or stream in an overly optimistic quest to slap ...

It began when I was 4 years old. I found a baby blanket with the satin binding ripped loose on one end. I slipped my head through the loop that it formed, and that’s when it happened — I was Underdog! Underdog’s cape was solid blue, while mine was white with pink and blue bunnies on it, ...

Hey, U! Scram! That, apparently, is the first thing the Colonists said after defeating the British. Oh, sure, the history books claim it was to end taxation without representation, but what really happened is that the newly minted Americans snatched the letter U out of a whole bunch of ...

“I don’t smell,” I confessed to a friend. “Don’t jump to conclusions,” he said, holding his nose. “No, not that,” I said. “I might stink, but my nose doesn’t pick up scents very well. At least that’s what I’ve been told.” “Let me guess,” my buddy said. “Your ...

I’m on an unintended diet. I can’t order a thing until I figure out QR codes, cash apps and all the other modern conveniences that get in the way of getting things done. Yes, I’m a dinosaur from another era. I think I know why those first dinosaurs went extinct — some critter came up ...