DEAR EDITOR:

Did you ever wonder why, when the obvious is so, well, obvious that one simply cannot admit they were wrong, wrong in their choice or actions.

For those of us who have raised, or are raising, children, this question, or incomprehensible feeling, arises frequently.

Being embarrassed and rejected by your peers is the first reason for the absence of admittance, and some psychological factors also need to be addressed, either individually or through a comforting friend or companion.

One of those psychological factors is “Cognitive Dissonance” (CD). CD is the psychological discomfort experienced when we hold two or more conflicting beliefs on a similar subject.

To better understand CD, an example that applies to many of us is the subject of cruelty to animals.

Most of us would agree, not want to view the process involved with enjoying that steak, that juicy hamburger, or that hot dog; if viewed, it would be hard to accept, but changing to strictly vegetarian, that just isn’t going to happen, thus the “cognitive dissonance”, the conflict inside.

This inner discomfort also often arises when we may have chosen the wrong mate, the wrong career, hired the wrong person, or elected the wrong individual. To admit wrong in these circumstances is often difficult based on the outcome of admittance, e.g., divorce, searching begins all over, or, as previously noted, the feeling of losing self-esteem, being looked down on by our peers.

Such discomfort, being ostracized, ignored, or devalued, is a position, feeling no one wants to experience; thus, the admittance of wrong is pushed aside, and one continues to search for, as weak or invalid as they may be, reasons to overcome their conflict within.

The truth is, when such an obvious wrong choice is apparent, admitting wrong can be a very powerful, self-fulfilling, and strengthening decision.

Admitting fault can build trust and credibility, show true leadership, gain respect, and make you a true, caring, more humanly accessible individual.

It isn’t a weakness; it truly is a strength we all look for in a partner, a leader, a friend.

Bottom line, he’s simply the wrong person for the job.

God Bless America.

JOHN P. LESEGANICH

Canfield