The Cleveland Browns taught my daughter to swear. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

In 2000, The Princess hadn’t even turned 2 yet, but she had already spent more than enough time in a room with her father to get an idea about the frustration that comes with being a Browns fan.

I just didn’t realize it until a random moment that has stuck with me for 25 years.

One day, The Princess was looking for a particular “Barney” videotape. If you’re like me — a parent of a certain age — you probably remember the ubiquitous purple dinosaur who sang and danced his way into our kids’ lives and kept them entertained. If you’re younger, like The Princess, you probably have memories of watching “Barney” episodes, along with other children’s shows of the era, such as “Rugrats.” “Dora the Explorer” and “Blue’s Clues.”

(I might be one of a handful of people who remember that a young Steve Burns, Blue’s original human sidekick, once played a murderer on an episode of “Homicide: Life on the Street,” one of the best TV series in American history.)

But back to Barney. The Princess had a stack of video tapes and the one wanted was third or fourth from the top. She hadn’t quite mastered physics at just under 2, so when she grabbed the tape she wanted, the others came with it and bonked on the head. I was about 10 feet away and saw it happen, but couldn’t get there to intercede.

“Dammit!” she exclaimed in what I noted was the perfect context.

When I told my wife about it later, she said, “She has been watching too many Browns hames with you.”

Guilty as charged.

If you’ve been a Browns fan for any length of time, you know how it goes. Every Sunday from September to January, we convince ourselves that this is going to be the day the Browns put it all together, turn the corner and establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with in the NFL.

There are instances when it actually seems like it’s happening, such as the 2020 playoff appearance and last year’s late push to get back to the postseason.

But more often than not, a Browns season ends the way the 2024 season did — with a string of barely watchable performances that effectively leave fans in a winter funk that is equal parts anger and frustration that only fades when pitchers and catchers report for spring training for the Indians, er, Guardians.

Thankfully, the Cavaliers have started the 2024-25 NBA season on a surprisingly dominant run and currently have the best record in the league.

But as a Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver once said, “The Browns is the Browns.” In typical fashion, Browns ownership has decided that the blame for the 3-14 disaster that we just endured should be blamed on first-year offensive coordinator Ken Dorsey and first-year offensive line coach Andy Dickerson. Both were fired last weekend after a season-ending 35-10 loss to the Baltimore Ravens, or as some call them. “The old Browns,” the team Art Modell moved after the 1995 season.

That fact made last Saturday’s loss even worse. As much as Browns fans hate the Pittsburgh Steelers, some fans can accept losing to them more than we can losing to the Ratbirds. Count me among them.

Now it appears, after the Browns restructured Deshaun Watson’s contract, that we won’t be free of the effects of the worst trade in NFL history any time soon. There is also the possibility that veteran players like Myles Garrett might demand a trade or that players like Joel Bitonio might choose to retire rather than continue with the Browns. They didn’t come right out and say that they aren’t looking forward to another season with the front office and coaching staff still trying to coax even average QB play out of the often-injured Watson, who brought more baggage with him to Cleveland than most airlines can fit on a 757

And we haven’t even gotten to the proposed dome in Brook Park.

The Browns want to go and they want someone else — taxpayers? — to foot at least half the bill for new digs, which will probably make owners Jimmy and Dee Haslam even richer. The Browns’ Super Bowl is always said to be the NFL Draft in late April. But this time, it might be the battle royale between the Browns and the city of Cleveland, which is trying to use the so-called “Art Modell Bill” to force the Haslams to sell the team to prevent a move to Brook Park or anywhere else.

Not only did the Browns teach my daughter to swear, but they’ve also had me doing it for a quarter of a century.

You’d think at some point over all that time, the Browns would get it right, even through sheer luck.

And you’d be wrong, dammit.

Ed Puskas is editor of the Tribune Chronicle and The Vindicator. Reach him at 330-841-1786 or at epuskas@tribtoday.com.