When I was growing up, everything seemed so black and white to me. I mean everything.

The judgments that would instantly pop into my mind were direct and non-negotiable. If you took a loaf of bread to feed your family, like in “Les Miserables,” you were guilty, plain and simple. And in my mind, the punishment was either not enough or spot on.

People doing good were good, and that was that. No shades, no layers — just clarity.

I stereotyped the actions of people I thought would be good or bad. It had nothing to do with their race, gender, religion — none of that. It was entirely about their actions.

Struggling in school? Well, that was your fault and the grades you earned reflected it.

I used to believe the world worked in absolutes. Now I realize there is so much more to every aspect of our lives.

I’m not sure exactly when I started thinking about the “why” behind things.

Maybe it’s because life naturally gets more complex and the actions we take follow suit. Maybe it’s because of my trials and tribulations that I’ve grown to hope others will extend me grace, and therefore, I know grace should be given in return.

Or maybe it’s because I now have two boys, and no matter what they do, my love for them is unshakable.

Whatever the reason, I’m entrenched in the gray area now. It’s about seeing the why behind people’s actions and how everything interconnects. It’s messy, complicated and it’s real life.

So why am I writing about this?

Truth be told, I recently watched “Monsters” on Netflix about the Menendez brothers and followed that up with the Amazon Prime documentary where Erik Menendez told his side of the story of the 1989 murder of his parents. He and brother Lyle were convicted and are in prison.

I think everyone who’s talked to me lately knows I keep steering conversations toward their case. When they committed that horrific crime, I was about 13. I remember their trial being plastered everywhere, and back then, it was simple — they were guilty and deserved punishment.

Now, though? My opinion has changed.

I’m not saying they didn’t deserve punishment, but the severity of it seems too harsh through the lens of the gray space I now live in. And maybe, punishments shouldn’t just be based on the results of the actions, but on the whys behind them.

There’s this whole inconsistency when it comes to how we determine what’s right and wrong. I could really go on and on about this topic. It could stir up a storm of emotions, so I won’t.

On a smaller scale, I think about people I know or have known throughout my life. You hear about where someone may have failed one person but excelled for another.

Maybe they had a bad day cooking, writing, managing a client or dealing with the public, family or friends. Does one bad day define their entire character? Should that now determine if we stray away from them? The same person who fell short in one situation might have turned around and done something remarkable in another.

It reminds me of how the sun and moon share the same sky all the time, but it’s only in those few moments during the day when you can see them both at once. The sky is always both, just as we are. We carry the light and the dark constantly existing together, even if it’s not always visible to others.

I know I’m a generally nice person. I’ll bend over backward to help others, but I also know that if I’m pushed too far, I won’t always respond with grace.

We’re all like that – carrying both parts of ourselves, good and bad, in a delicate balance.

This is just from me to you — did you watch “Monsters” or the documentary? What does this provoke in you? Where have you noticed your own gray spaces? I’d love to hear what this stirs up in your mind.

Mother, author, entrepreneur and founder of Dandelion-Inc, Lisa Resnick wants to hear your story. Share memories with her by emailing lisa@dandelion-inc.com.