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Patty Kimerer column

As Frosty always says, ‘Happy birthday!’

I know it’s “The Holidays.” Sure, I’m aware that Hanukkah began last week. Yeah, I realize we are seven shopping days from... well, you know. But for me, December is more like birthday season, yo. First of all, I have clearly waxed on and on — and on a little more — about the beginning of the month being birthday central at my house thanks to the arrival some 18 years ago of my favorite human, Kyle Kimerer. #lightofmylife But I think it really all started back when I was just a girl attending good old St. Matthias School. Every year, when we were practicing for the ...

As Frosty always says, ‘Happy birthday!’

I know it’s “The Holidays.” Sure, I’m aware that Hanukkah began last week. Yeah, I realize we are seven shopping days from... well, you know. But for me, December is more like birthday season, yo. First of all, I have clearly waxed on and on — and on a little more — about the beginning of the month being birthday central at my house thanks to the arrival some 18 years ago of my favorite human, Kyle Kimerer. #lightofmylife But I think it really all started back when I was just a girl attending good old St. Matthias School. Every year, when we were practicing for the ...

Through thick and thin — and wild head spins

I was pretty sure it was in there. I mean, it’s going on 23 years now and the mind starts to falter a bit. So just to quadruple confirm, I went to the replay. As I fast-forwarded through our wedding video, there it was, plain as day. He said it, all right and not under duress or coercion, just to be clear. “… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health …” Aha! Got him on a technicality. Poor guy is stuck. This was one of the things that ran through my mind on Thanksgiving afternoon, mostly the “sickness and health” phrase, yo. I kept ...

Cannot believe it has been 18 years already

I don’t want to brag or anything but 18 years ago right now, I was a pretty big deal. As in circumference, yo. What I mean to say is that I was YOOOGE, as President Trump would put it. Because 18 years ago right now, I was growing a little person. And he was getting cramped, yo. I remember that magical moment in the old gestation journey when the doctor said, “You’re at 37 weeks. The baby is fully grown and in position.” But this revelation by my then-OB / GYN physician was especially welcome news for a gal who’d had such a long, long road to a healthy pregnancy. My ...

Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret … admirer

I know Thanksgiving is officially over but I need to give one last shout out to a very special somebody while we’re still in that whole appreciating things mode. Therefore, I am formally, publicly and officially declaring a huge thank you to my secret admirer (SA for short), whomever he or she might be. Yep, he / she is that good because I have absolutely no clue about the identity of the sender of the many random gifts I have been receiving over the past several weeks. These include but are not necessarily limited to: l An automatic cat food dispenser set; l An iPhone ...

Mom and Dad, thank you for ruining my life

There is an episode of “Friends” in which Joey is rehearsing a scene with Phoebe. As they are running lines, Phoebe gets carried away and ultimately becomes overly impressed with her own acting ability, which is clearly horrible. Put off by her inflated ego, Joey puts the kibosh on their rehearsal, but caught up in the moment, Phoebe keeps “acting,” saying she doesn’t need him or anyone else to make it. “You’ll see, you’ll all see!” she screams in ridiculously exaggerated fashion. It’s a funny scene, especially to parents because we all, at one point or ...