Cartoons, cereal ruled Saturdays

August 16, 2015

Sugar-coated cereals, a parade of toy commercials, and a blitz of wacky and wonderful cartoons — I lived for Saturday mornings. Adults ruled the rest of the week. They stayed up as late as they wanted, bought candy without asking permission and controlled all the TV shows. Except Saturday mornings. In the 1960s and 1970s, when it mattered to me, Saturday mornings belonged to us kids and our good friends Underdog, Space Ghost, the Herculoids, Top Cat, Secret Squirrel and Bugs Bunny. On with the show, this is it! Our good buddies Heckle and Jeckle, Jonny Quest, the Harlem ...

Old dogs learn new login tricks

August 9, 2015

The taunting words flashed from the computer screen: “Invalid sign-in. Make sure caps lock is off.” “It’s because of my age, isn’t it?,” I yelled at the machine. “You think I’m a drooling idiot who doesn’t know enough to turn off his... Oh hey, the caps lock is on.” I tapped the unlock button. “Stop smirking.” I retyped the password, watching each dot appear on the screen. The dots are designed to make sure no one peeking over your shoulder can learn your secret code. But what it really means is I have no idea what I’m typing. “Hey,” I once called out to ...

Blankie reboots my brain

August 2, 2015

Lately, it seems that every time I attempt to commit an act of work, whatever computer I open flashes a message that I need to shut it down right now for very extremely super vital important upgrades. Do not pass F12. Do not collect hashtags. In other words, computers are like cranky kindergarteners begging for time on the sleep mats. So I wait. The printer gets so many orders from all over the office for copies of various sizes, numbers and styles that it gets confused and stalls. Punching buttons madly no longer fazes the beast. It refuses to budge until someone first presses the ...

He’d go places if he could park

July 26, 2015

She stared out the front window. “Why do we never go anywhere?” I lowered my newspaper. “Parking lots.” “It’s part of the package,” she said. “If you go somewhere, you need a place to park.” “Exactly. I knew you’d understand.” I went back to reading a very important panel of “Curtis.” She slumped onto the couch. Her sigh wilted the comic pages. She didn’t get it, although I couldn’t figure out why. I set aside the newspaper, leaving both “Zits” and “Ziggy” unread. “Parking lots are a hazard,” I said. “What did parking lots ever do to ...

Planning, playing more fun than work

July 19, 2015

As a duly licensed wordsmith and practitioner of the written arts, I naturally like to keep up with the parts of speech. Let’s see, if I recall my English lessons correctly, they are verbs, nouns, pronouns, amateur nouns, adjectives, adjuncts, jumping beans, participles and chrysanthemums. I might have missed a couple. I spent a lot of time staring out the window during class planning my next sentence. Anyway, those are the main tools we writers keep in our composition toolboxes. Also, we keep Play-Doh, Oreos and 29 versions of solitaire, but those tools primarily are for planning. ...

Tech talk drives gap between generations

July 12, 2015

“Hey, Gramps, can we order pizza?” “Sure,” I told the kid. “Dial the number.” The kid scratched his head. “Dial’s some sort of soap, isn’t it?” I snatched the cellphone from the table and studied the flat surface. “I think I see the problem,” I said. “No dial.” “No duh.” Years ago, a generation gap existed when grownups and youths struggled with each other over radically differing philosophies and lifestyles. Today, it’s because technology has turned our words into nonsense. I tapped the screen. “Crazy, huh? You call it a telephone, but it’s ...