WARREN – April Kirkwood was 6 years old when she first met Frankie Valli. She was 16 when she began a relationship with him, and 51 when she was finally able to say goodbye to the man who held her heart captive for so many years.

Now, at 56, the Youngstown native is using her experience to help other women let go of their past and heal from relationships similar to the one she shared with the musician.

Sitting in the Mocha House restaurant in Warren last week, she spoke candidly about the contents of her book, “The Endless Season” – love, life and romance and learning to let go of the past, and about growing up in the 1960s mob-era of Youngstown, a time which she says influenced her greatly.

“It’s a cautionary tale about imprinting when we’re young, about lust and romance,” the author and licensed counselor said, then gave a warm smile as she sipped a coffee.

She said many will recognize iconic Valley hangouts such as the Living Room, Cherry’s Top of the Mall, Alberini’s, the Ramada Inn, the Lamp Post and Brier Hill, among others.

“I’m proud that I’m from Youngstown. I’m proud that I grew up in a mobster town in an ethnic melting pot that’s rich in history,” she said.

Still, the time in which she lived could be a grim one for young people such as herself.

“It was very common for girls who are pretty to go with mobsters. For me to form a fantasy about Frankie Valli really fit in with my culture,” she said. “I’m one of the few girls who, unfortunately, lived out her imprint.”

Kirkwood grew up in Youngstown, graduated from Liberty High School in 1976, and went on to obtain her master’s degree in education from Youngstown State University. She taught in the Youngstown City Schools and worked as a counselor at Reed Middle School in Hubbard. She also had her own evening show as disk jockey April Kay at WHOT HOT101.

Kirkwood now lives in West Palm Beach, Fla. She still has family in the area and says she will always love Youngstown.

What started as her own path to healing has become a larger undertaking as Kirkwood now seeks to welcome other women on her journey. Kirkwood said her ultimate goal is to motivate women to better themselves, and maybe by helping them, in a way, she can also help heal herself.

“Maybe my little story can help somebody clear the mess away and have a happy life,” she said.

But Kirkwood says her story is not unique, and just because Valli is famous doesn’t mean anyone else’s story is any less real.

“This has happened to all of you, whether it’s a preacher, a priest, a teacher, a coach, a boss … this is everybody’s story,” she said.

“We’re all hiding. We all live lives of quite desperation. I don’t want to do that. We need to look at the dark nights of our souls where people have hurt us and we need to come out in the daylight and begin to play. I’m trying to come out and get healed and begin again,” she said.

Kirkwood describes her relationship with Valli as a long, lifetime friendship. But it wasn’t without heartache, and she always thought in her heart that they would some day be married.

“I used to think, ‘If I’m pretty enough, he’ll love me. If I’m smart enough, he’ll love me.’ But some people are just never going to love you. But what part of that am I responsible for? And that’s what the book is about,” she said.

Smiling softly, Kirkwood said she harbors no resentment toward Valli and that part of her will always love him.

“I’m not upset about Frankie. I feel just as responsible. Ignorance is the worst disease you can have. But it’s no one’s fault.”

Kirkwood said a second book is in the works that will function as a healing workbook for women who can’t figure out why they’re in love with who they’re in love with and why their relationships aren’t working.

After the workbook is written, Kirkwood said she envisions a third book comprised of other women’s experiences.

“The Endless Season,” releases this fall.

bhazen@tribtoday.com