DEAR ANNIE: I’ve always been someone who struggles between my head and my heart. I see things that I want so badly and my heart aches for them, but I know better when those things don’t mesh well with my life. Like denying my favorite piece of chocolate cake because it’s bad for my diet.

Normally, this is one of my best traits. I was very good at buckling down in school and work throughout my life, and when all of my friends wanted to go out to a party, I was always the one to stay in and study.

Except now I’m feeling a crushing sense of unhappiness because I’m in love with someone who does not fit into my life. We used to date when we were younger, but I broke up with him because I worried so much about how illogical our relationship was. Despite those worries, and the fact that I walked away, I’ve been in love with him for more than three years now.

He’s kind and funny and makes me feel very free in a way I hardly ever feel. When we’re together, it’s like the whole world stops mattering. He’s thoughtful, too, and says some of the most devastatingly romantic things I’ve ever heard. I want to do the little things for him, like make his lunch the way I know he likes it. I want to do the really big stuff, too, like plan the fancy dates out at nice restaurants.

But all that being said, he’s not a very logical man to love. He doesn’t have a stable job right now, and he doesn’t have the same kind of drive that I do. He’s ruled by his heart and his heart alone, and sometimes he can be impulsive. He likes movies and video games and watching YouTube; I am a reader and writer and want to discuss the heavily philosophical stuff.

I know he’s a bad idea. My head reminds me of that all the time. We’re the best of friends even after our breakup, and I see him often. Every time we see one another, I am reminded of all the logical reasons I shouldn’t love him. My head is very, very good at telling me those things.

But despite it all, I love him. My heart loves him. For every time I see him and think of all the logical reasons that I should stop loving him, I am reminded of a hundred things I do love about him. My heart plays a little movie of our life together and it’s almost enough to override my head.

How can I reconcile these two sides of me? How can I either let go of my head and reach out for someone I adore and love, or let go of this love for my best friend and get on with my otherwise sensible and logical life?

— Hopelessly Rational in Irrational Love

DEAR HOPELESSLY RATIONAL: Liking movies, video games and YouTube does not make a man unworthy of love. Plenty of solid partners unwind that way. The real question isn’t his hobbies; it’s whether the imbalance between you would quietly become your full-time job.

If you were to choose him, it would have to be with your eyes wide open — not in the hope that he’ll change, but in acceptance of who he is now. You would need to ask yourself, honestly and without romance: Am I willing to shoulder more of the practical load without keeping score? If the answer is no, then love alone will not save you from feeling overburdened down the road.

But if the answer is yes, then this is not madness. It’s a choice, based on how he makes you feel.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.