Moves to head of class with failing grades

January 29, 2017

You know, ever since Kyle entered high school three years ago, I’ve had passing thoughts of what it must be like to be a teenager these days. I mean, as I see him maneuvering the process so effortlessly, it occurs to me every now and again that this talent of his might be a recessive trait. In other words, if I had to be a student in high school in 2017, could I hack it? Hmm. This past week, I had the chance to find out — sorta. Last Wednesday morning, I headed out of the house with all the hope and excitement and fear and anticipation and eagerness and butterflies of a first ...

Pity passing of Patty as popular proper name

January 22, 2017

As Kyle and I stood in line at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles recently, I hardly noticed at first. I guess that’s pretty telling of the root problem, really. Allow me to backtrack. My son and I headed into the BMV to replace his driver’s license, a task we were both dreading since the moment he realized his wallet had gone missing some weeks prior. Hmpf. We trudged in and dejectedly took a number, expecting to be there until the NBA Finals start in June. To our shock, our number was actually called within just a few minutes of our arrival. What a pleasant surprise, I ...

When life is rough, just watch some basketball

January 15, 2017

I love basketball; I just do. And anyone who even sparingly skims this space on occasion knows that I’m all about the Cleveland Cavaliers. #allin I know, we’re in a little bit of a slide; not to worry — the boys will turn it around under LeBron’s capable helm. Anyway, I love basketball so much that, even when LeBron, Kyrie, Kevin and company have a day off, I’m happy to catch an NBA game. And so I did a little over a week ago as I watched the evil Golden State Warriors do battle with the Memphis Grizzlies. As any good Cavs fan would, I rooted against GS, which seemed ...

Save face; keep profile photos professional

January 7, 2017

Let’s face it: We humans are obsessed with face. First of all, there are about 18 gazillion idioms commonly used (at least in the English language) with direct or veiled references to the face. Here’s a smattering: Put on a happy face; Get out of my face; She is completely stone-faced; It’s time to face the music; Wow, is he ever two-faced; I couldn’t keep a straight face; I got some egg on my face in that meeting; The answer is as plain as the nose on my face; It’s time to put on your game face. Face is so versatile and handy a word that it has positive, ...

Daunting dental visit capped by recycled jaw bone

January 1, 2017

You know how, sometimes, when you’re having a little dental procedure and suddenly they sorta just slip part of another human being into your face? Oh, you don’t? I didn’t either, until last week. #toothextractiongonehorriblywrong Fine, I’ll retrace the painful steps for you. It was probably about 15 years ago when the next-to-the-last tooth on my bottom right jaw started giving me fits. A horrendous cavity filling, followed by a root canal, then a crown, then another cavity fill for a crack in the crown and finally ... total decay from the roots on out. That about sums ...

Channeling Clement for Valley-revised take on classic

December 25, 2016

As has become a tradition in this space, it is time once again for a decidedly PK take on the Clement Moore classic “A Visit from St. Nicholas” — or as it’s more commonly known, “’Twas the Night before Christmas”: ’Twas the morning of Christmas When all through the region Lots of folks were amazed It was still football season ... For the YSU Penguins, Who have well-proven lately They’ve reclaimed the tenacity Of their late ’90s heyday. And this on the heels Of a very good year For the Cavs, Indians and Buckeyes, All teams we hold ...