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Patty Kimerer column

Birds seem beautiful until flights of frenzy

There is this little sparrow who visits me every workday. He (or she, I really don’t know, to be fair) swings by around 8 a.m. or so and then again about 9ish, typically. He sits on the ledge of my windowsill and sings. Sometimes he even turns his head and chirps straight into the office, almost as if he’s looking directly at me, trying to tell me something. I love him. I look for him every single weekday morning. His squeaks and whistles cheer me. Then there are those big brothers of his — birds of prey, I believe they are often called. You know, those majestic, regal ...

Advanced course in teen-speak translation

About two years ago, I wrote a column entitled “Consult this Handy Translator for Teen-Speak.” You may recall it as a tongue-in-cheek guideline to maneuvering through the minefield known as conversations with teenage boys. It was an overview of “Communicating with Teen Boys 101,” an introductory course in translating common utterances by male adolescents. Well, friends, it’s time for the next class. Today I give you the main curriculum points from “Advanced Interpretations of the Male Teen 102.” 1. Exhaustion is an Indefinite State of Being We’ll focus on the many ...

Toddlers, menopausal women share same traits

I recently had the ginormous pleasure of seeing my niece, nephew, great-niece and great-nephew — who now live in North Carolina. Hmpf. They recently moved there from Nebraska. Double hmpf. You get the gist — I don’t see them nearly enough. So when they were quite suddenly and unexpectedly in town for a few days, I lunged at the chance to see them. Aside from the fact that my sweet pea Allie has always had Aunt Patty wrapped around her little finger, I also love her hubby, Butch, and her adorableness personified children, Brooklynn, who just turned 3, and Georgie, who is not ...

Toddlers, menopausal women share same traits

I recently had the ginormous pleasure of seeing my niece, nephew, great-niece and great-nephew — who now live in North Carolina. Hmpf. They recently moved there from Nebraska. Double hmpf. You get the gist — I don’t see them nearly enough. So when they were quite suddenly and unexpectedly in town for a few days, I lunged at the chance to see them. Aside from the fact that my sweet pea Allie has always had Aunt Patty wrapped around her little finger, I also love her hubby, Butch, and her adorableness personified children, Brooklynn, who just turned 3, and Georgie, who is not ...

Patty lets Pop have his say on Father’s Day

I’m not sure how the average family celebrates Father’s Day. In mine, we try to visit with both my pop and my father-in-law on the actual date. Also, I try to make sure my son and his dad (and his godfather, too!) get a little quality time in together, as well. #lovemyboys But for me personally, it’s all about my pop today. And so, in honor of all the sage wisdom he’s shared with my siblings and me, out of respect for all the sacrifices he’s made on our behalf, in deference to the seemingly endless lessons he’s taught us (and is still teaching us, BTW) and with full ...

Empty mugs, silent phones prove nothing lasts very long

So, a very, very, very bad horrible, awful, terrible, rotten thing happened to me this week. No, I’m not talking about the 2017 NBA Finals just yet — that’s another column for another day. (Editor’s note: Kimerer’s column deadline preceded game four. It did NOT precede her deep depression over how game three ended.) Ahem, I digress, the predicament of my Cavs notwithstanding, I refer to a dark cloud of a different sort and source. Friends, I am talking about a tragic occurrence within the very walls of Casa Kimerer. A death in the family. Spoiler alert: not really. Don’t ...