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Patty Kimerer column

Crawl out from under rock and hug mom today

Unless you live inside a rock formation, you know today is Mother’s Day. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. The saying is “Unless you live under a rock...” But that’s never made sense to me. Who could possibly live under a rock? First of all, what would the real estate situation be? Would there be slugs and worms and potato bugs busily scurrying about to host open houses? For that matter, would a boulder be equivalent to a million- dollar mansion? OK, the point — I promise I’m getting there. Eventually. Consider it: If it wasn’t for that very first friend of yours, ...

Odder jobs than newspaper columnist, Part II

Last week, my peeps, we began a silly little journey down the road the oddest occupations here in the land of 2023. The trusted companion of modern times, the worldwide web, offered strange choices such as dog food taster, mourner and odor judge (that’s a job mothers have been performing ...

Odder jobs than newspaper columnist, Part I

So, we’ve been doing this for how long now … I’d say at least a few decades or so, no? If memory serves — and to be quite honest, lately it’s been offering worse delivery than this year’s least reliable internet provider — it has been quite a while that I’ve been making ...

Pet peeves are disturbing Patty’s peace

As you all know by now, I’m a pretty open book to those around me. And maybe strangers, as well, since sometimes my bad poker face gives my emotions away quicker than Usain Bolt runs a quarter-mile, yo. I’m Italian, my friends, what can I say? And while I try to be happy and agreeable ...

Ol’ PK turns the clock to year she launched

Well, here I am, y’all — a couple weeks into yet another trip around the sun. Yes, yes, your old pal PK is getting, well, old. Fifty-five rings around this tree, yo. So this fossil did some digging on the year 1968, the year when a wee little Pats came to be, as it were. And I unearthed ...

Thief on cross stole Christ’s heart

There once was a man named the Christ Who brought to this earth peace and light. And redemption of sin He was there, thick and thin! To give mankind some real great insight... On just what it means to forgive And how it’d be best if we lived Showing kindness to all Whether ...