“I need a new knit hat for winter,” I told Terry. “Mine disappeared.” “Isn’t it on the hat holder by the door?” she said. “That’s where I put it. But it’s not there.” Terry walked to the back door. She plucked my knit cap from the far left side of the tray. She dropped ...
In the supposed words of the great philosopher Yogi Berra, “It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.” That quote’s also been attributed to Mark Twain, Niels Bohr, Casey Stengel, Robert Storm Petersen and Samuel Goldwyn, among others. With a past so unreliable, is ...
It was so odd that my wife called me at work: “You got a letter in the mail.” “You rang me up to tell me about yet another credit card offer?” “No,” she said. “Your cousin Cindy. She sent you a letter. An actual letter with an envelope, a stamp and everything.” “Weird,” ...
Science once proclaimed that what separated homo sapiens from all the other critters was that humans were the only creatures who fashioned and used tools. (Humans also are the only creatures known to use credit cards and hold committee meetings. You may think your executive committee is made ...
Has any kid ever poked an eye out? His, hers or anyone else’s? That was the No. 1 threat parents gave to make us quit doing something: “Don’t run with that stick in your hand. You’ll fall and poke your eye out.” “Keep throwing those balled up socks like that and you’ll poke ...
I am my wife’s oldest son. I don’t know when the transformation happens but it’s an affliction most husbands suffer. One moment, our wives chat about how they fell in love with our boyish charms. The next, they’re spit-washing cereal off our cheeks and ordering us to tuck in our ...
