Mark Twain once said of fellow author Rudyard Kipling, “Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest.”

There’s great wisdom in that. Like Twain, I, too, am pretty handy with things that can’t be known. Why do I focus on what can’t be known? Because that way, I’m never wrong — or at least, no one can prove that I’m wrong.

I wish I had known this little trick in my school days. It would have landed me a spot as valedictorian for sure. How can you mark any of my answers incorrect if the answer can’t be known? I don’t know.

I suppose this is why my New Year’s resolution is so surprising: I vow to figure out the answers to at least half of these unanswered questions.

After all, if gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then I’m full of it. It’s about time that I figured out the answers to previously posted puzzling ponderances like these:

• What do the “You are here” signs say when I’m not there?

• If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and you get rid of all but one of them, are you left with an odd or an end?

• In the word “scent,” which letter is silent, the S or the C?

• Speaking of which, isn’t the word “queue” just the letter Q followed by four silent letters? Or why do we use three letters to spell the word “why”? Why not just use the letter Y and be done with it?

• What’s another word for “thesaurus”? Is there a synonym for “synonym”? Why isn’t palindrome spelled the same way backward? Why is the word “abbreviated” that long?

• Is the opposite of “opposite” the same or opposite?

• Did we ever figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? How many of us actually tried but lost count by 37?

• Why do we count sheep when we can’t get to sleep? Is it because we can’t fit elephants, cows or giraffes through the bedroom door?

• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

• If a person has X-ray vision that allows him to see through anything, wouldn’t seeing through everything mean he actually sees nothing?

• What happens if Pinocchio says, “And now, my nose will grow”?

• On a related note, if a person tells you they’re a pathological liar, can you believe him?

• If a cow laughed, would milk squirt out of her nose?

• If you told someone to “Be a leader and not a follower,” if that person followed your advice, wouldn’t he, by definition, become a follower?

• What do I do if I spot an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

• If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or does the vampire become a zombie?

• What color is a mirror?

• Why didn’t Dora use Google maps?

• Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies? Is it the same reason why if we send something by ship, it’s cargo, but if we send it by motor vehicle, it’s a shipment?

• How DO you get to Sesame Street?

• Why are they called “stairs” inside a building, but “steps” if you install the same things outside?

• If you’re expecting the unexpected, wouldn’t that make the unexpected expected? In that case, what happens if the unexpected doesn’t happen? By then, has it become expected or unexpected?

It’s no wonder my hair has turned gray. It wasn’t the wisdom of the aged that did that. It was from spending far too much time twisting my brain in knots trying to answer the unanswerable questions.

Rest your brain and have a Happy New Year.

Pose your questions to Cole at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.