Cousin Dweezil sent me another one of her tidbits of what she considers wisdom: “I’ve found that if you tuck one part of your pants legs into your socks, people expect less of you.”

OK, maybe that one is wise. But not all of the questionable quandaries, ponderances and quagmires that Dweezil chucks my way seem as well thought out. She once sent me this note:

“Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. I know I’m crazy, therefore, I’m not crazy. Isn’t that crazy?”

Dweezil embraces the adage that misery loves company, and if you aren’t in a pickle, she’ll pinch you with a few of her predicaments.

She always has enough conundrums and questionable scraps of enlightenment to keep a person awake.

Here are some of the gems that she’s collected and sent my way. Please, you take them. My brain hurts.

• I want to lose weight, but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those “eat right and exercise” scams.

• I’ve found that if you tuck one part of your pants legs into your socks, people expect less of you.

• Are you tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Here’s a time-saving tip: Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.

• No matter how lazy you feel, remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap in the middle of a burglary.

• When you swim in the sea, and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

• If you put shoes and socks on a bear, will he still have bear feet?

• Why do people insist on saying such hurtful things, like “You want to go for a run?” or “You gotta try some of this kale”?

• When older people say, “Enjoy them while they’re young,” they’re talking about your knees and hips, not your kids.

• I’m sorry that I’m cranky. I’m going through my Terrible Sixties now.

• The older I get, the more I can reason myself out of anything.

• I understand the need to be a responsible adult, but every day? Every single day? That seems excessive.

• In Norway, “Up and not crying” is a standard response to “How are you,” and I think that’s a very reasonable standard to hold oneself to these days. So, how are you?

• I’ve reached a tipping point in life where my interest in baked goods is greater than my interest in men. I’m calling this new chapter doughs before bros.

• I don’t believe that a pun has completely matured until it is full-groan.

• When someone says to me, “You’re acting weird,” why do they assume that I’m acting?

• To anybody I offended this year, work on yourself so I don’t gotta do it again in 2026.

• Do they call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken?

• Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t broccoli, that’s for sure.

• Not everyone was born to cook. I personally was born to hold conversations with someone who’s cooking. Know your strengths.

• I am a survivalist. I can adapt to any situation. I drank my morning coffee out of a soup bowl because there were no clean cups. I thrive.

• No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

• “You can’t hide at home forever” sounds like the easiest, most enjoyable challenge ever.

• When the job interviewer asks, “What’s your biggest weakness?” which one should I confess to, bread baskets or Boston cream doughnuts?

• As a kid, I was so proud when someone said, “You’ve gotten so big since I saw you last.” As an adult, not so much.

I should stay awake at night worrying about Cousin Dweezil. But what really keeps me pacing the floors is that I think she’s making sense.

In case your brain isn’t hurting, you may keep pondering with Burt at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.