I awoke in a panic. I’d forgotten to feed the cat! For three weeks. Maybe four.

Through the brain fog, I remembered opening a can of cat food. By now, it had to be an undulating mass of bugs that walked away on its own.

I threw back the covers. The breeze made by the blankets must have scattered some of the brain fog, because suddenly, I remembered a key piece of data: I don’t have a cat.

Nor do I have cat food, undulating or otherwise.

I wiped sweat from my brow. No cat I have known would purr patiently and politely for four weeks. They’d be nipping at my nose and toes like Jack Frost, if not clawing me to pieces like Tony the Tiger ripping open a box of Frosted Flakes.

I reached for the covers and sunk back into the depths of the pillow to go back to sleep, perchance to dream.

And shot upright in bed again.

Nope, nope, nope. Next up would be that dream about school.

You know the one. We’ve all had it.

You remember that you have a final exam TODAY for a class you forget to attend ALL SEMESTER. You desperately search for the classroom, but you can’t find it.

That dream and variations of it are among the most common anxiety-based horrors that we have in common, along with being chased, falling, flying — or finding the classroom, only to fail the exam.

“One potential explanation for dreaming about school is that it relates to imposter syndrome,” Adam England wrote in a 2024 article for Verywell Mind.

“If you doubt yourself or your abilities, dreaming of failure at school may reflect the fears you have in the present.”

Don’t look at me. Check on that imaginary cat that I forgot to feed. There’s an imposter if I ever saw one.

Another recurring dream on the hit parade is that I have been called up front at church to lead the congregation in a hymn, and I CANNOT FIND THE PAGE. I can’t even remember how the song goes.

Why? Let me tell you, it’s difficult to focus on lyrics when you’ve just realized that you’re not wearing any pants.

Variations of the naked-in-public dream, according to various studies, also ranks as one of the most common. It’s a wonder that any of us dare to go to sleep.

Colin Espie, professor of sleep medicine at University of Oxford, says our brains stay up all night rehashing everything we learned during the day — or possibly remembering that stupid stunt we pulled when we were 5 years old — and tries to reorganize it all into something that makes sense.

“What’s happening during the night is, maybe your brain telling you… ‘I know it’s concerning you, I know there is content to be done. I’m working on it’,” Espie tells education correspondent Hazel Shearing in a 2024 BBC article.

Seriously? Waking me up to feed a cat I don’t have? Or to find a classroom for a course I never took? Or to stick me in front of a crowd before I got dressed? If that’s the naked truth, I don’t find any of it reassuring in the least.

According to Google, the knower of all things that can be known and several that can’t, those dreams that are so common to all of us can sprout from fear of failure, unresolved issues, stress, feeling unprepared or unfinished business.

Yes, I have unfinished business. It’s called sleep.

“Dreams of being back in school, while common, often symbolize a need for learning or a sense of being tested in waking life. They can reflect anxieties about current challenges, feelings of inadequacy or a desire for personal growth,” according to Google.

They also can reflect my desire not to be mauled by a non-existent but ravenous cat whose can of bug-infested cat food sprouted wings and flew away.

Or was that a dream?

Dream with Cole at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.