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Grownups would know more if they watched cartoons

The world is full of zany, colorful characters who don’t make a lot of sense. I learned that 55 years ago watching Saturday morning cartoons. Back in the 1960s, Saturday mornings meant giant bowls of cereal with the word “sugar” in the name, and five solid hours of life lessons — er, ...

On a quest for gold, silver, insight

According to ancient wisdom (dating back to at least last Tuesday), to become old and wise, one must first be young and stupid. As my driver’s license will attest, I’m chugging right along on the becoming old part. Not one misstep there. I’m getting better at it all the time. When I was young, three years dragged out between Christmases. Now Christmas pops up every three months. Age? Baby, I’ve got it — and collecting more all the time. So when does the wisdom part kick in? I saw a bunch of my childhood pals the other day (talk about becoming old!) and I realized that ...

This sewing class dropout just wants cake

I am a sewing class dropout. I fought the sewing machine and the sewing machine won. Snapped thread, torqued pins and cloth snarled in balls of stitches lay in my wake. I eked out one kitchen boa and one cinch bag, both inflicted with some of the most meandering drunken seams ever known to ...

Keep an eye on your boots and toast

Welcome to another episode of “Animals Behaving Badly.” The guest stars on this week’s episode include international shoe thief foxes, a laundered snake and emus banned from a bar. Let’s welcome our first guest: * In late July, a fox in Berlin, Germany, was busted for theft — of ...

Memories were better before everything was on YouTube

“Remember that time you fell out of the tree in the cow pasture?” Cousin Ollie gasped in merriment — his, not mine. “You looked like a walrus scaling a cactus.” “I believe you refer to the time I saved the life of that poor, stranded kitty that you ignored.” Ollie hooted. ...

You can lose the fill-in-the-blank game

Long-married couples have a knack for finishing each other’s sentences. Terry and I do that. It’s too bad that we’re never talking about the same thing when we do. You’ve seen those creepy couples. They’ll be all smiles and doe-eyed as they carry on coded cut-off conversations ...