The more the years pass, the more I understand old people. I used to be mystified over the weird ways of the gray and grizzled. “I will never (fill in the blank) when I get to be that old,” I vowed time and again. Now I am. And I do. Way back in 1978, I watched the Grammy Awards with my ...
Cousin Ollie snugged another bale of hay into place. Our pirate ship of timothy and clover was almost complete. "We should call these Hayos," he said. "You know, like Legos, only bigger." "I don't think it'll catch on," I said. "Sure it will," he said. "Hay bales are Legos for farm kids. ...
Hey, quick, tell me, if money actually grew on trees, what would everyon’e favorite season be? Fall, of course! Oh, what do you get when your drop a pumpkin? Yep, squash. You heard what happened when the turkey got into a fight, right? He got the stuffing knocked out of him. As of 9:04 ...
“Aren’t those the same pants you wore yesterday?” “Of course,” I said. “The pockets were already loaded.” His eyebrows arched. “With what?” “Keys, pens, cards, coins, memory stick, phone — everything in its pocketed place and ready to go.” I don’t need trendy ...
I rechecked the numbers, praying for a glorious mistake. Nope. The math was correct. “We’ve got to stop indulging our whims and fancies,” I said. “We can’t afford it.” “I’ve laid in a good supply of fancies in the root cellar. That should hold us for a while,” Terry said. ...
Her car was very, very dead. I parked behind her, my four-ways flashing, and offered to look under the hood. I grew up with Backyard Auto Mechanics who were always hunched under hoods, coaxing vehicles to roaring zest with a few deft moves with hammers, wrenches and the occasional stick of ...
