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A good friend of mine often reminds me, “You can never please everyone, and there are some people you can never please.” I was brought back to this lesson in an important way when I found myself reading reviews of my book on Amazon, and after receiving a rather grumpy email about my last column.
Of the 80-some reviews for the book, some were (thankfully) quite positive. Of course, there were more than a handful of negative ones. This, of course, reminds us that it really is impossible to please everyone. Even our best-laid plans and greatest of intentions can unintentionally leave someone wanting more. It’s key not to be paralyzed by these critiques, and to weigh them appropriately.
Yet, it’s also important to remember that there are some people we can never please. As a writer, I’ve received a (mercifully) small handful of outright negative responses. Our mothers taught us in one way or another that it’s always best to approach others with a charity and generosity of spirit “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Yet, there are some in this world that you simply cannot please, ever. It’s important to put these people and their opinions in their proper place, for the sake of our emotional well-being (and sanity, for that matter).
Someone once told me, “As people age, they either get more gracious or more grumpy.” Since becoming a columnist at the Tribune, I find most responses to what I write fall into one category or the other. By and large, folks encourage what I write and appreciate it. For your encouragement, readers, I am deeply grateful.
Yet, every once in a while there are responses to my columns that are just downright grumpy cynical, even. The truth of the matter is that the center of gravity in our lives is not in optimism but in cynicism and hopelessness. As with what we discussed above, it’s important to put the grumpy voices in their place and give them the weight they deserve. In some cases, that may be no weight at all.
I hope you won’t think it rude to suggest that “some people brighten a room by entering and others by leaving.” Those given over to grumpiness and cynicism are those that do the latter, while those who say no to cynicism and choose hope are certainly the former.
Our community, our lives and our families would be a brighter place if some people were to take a quick exit, stage right. Yet, we need to choose to surround ourselves with those who brighten our rooms, not darken them. When we do, the voices of grumpy cynicism fall quiet, and we are free to be the gracious, room-brightening people we’d like to be, and to have more in our community.
Write to Kyle Tennant at columns@tribtoday.com.