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In June, when I turned 26, someone asked me the question I always ask others at their birthday: “What do you know at 26 that you didn’t know at 25?”
I’d encourage you to ask this question to your loved ones on their birthdays, regardless of how old they are.
A newlywed friend of mine told me on her 24th birthday that she had learned that she was stronger than she thought she was. A young lady who had just turned 7 told me she knew how to do more math.
When I turned 25, I said that I had learned how fast a $20 bill goes – because, let’s be honest, once you break the thing, it’s practically gone.
This year, at my 26th birthday, I said that I’ve learned it’s harder to be brave than I thought it would be.
I’ve hesitated to write about this publicly, which is why it’s making its debut more than two months after I came to this realization. But, it is true that the last year has been marked by requiring a lot more bravery and courage than I feel I have access to.
It’s at this juncture that the movies of my childhood come to mind:
The main character, when called upon to do something tremendous, feels like she can’t do it, because she’s just not brave enough. Then the wiser, older character that started it all in the first five minutes of the movie says something to the effect that “doing the right thing even when you’re scared is exactly what courage is.”
Then the character does the right thing, saves the day, and there is a party or a wedding or a song and dance routine (or all three) at the end.
Friends, if I’m allowed to be honest, I’m still waiting for the party. I wish I could be the courageous leader that I so often pictured I would be, but I still haven’t arrived. The challenge is great, and I’m not always sure that I really have what it takes.
(I’ll save the particular nature of my challenge for another column, but rest assured, it is not medical or life-threatening.)
It’s for this reason that I surround myself with some really capable leaders:
Lauren, who works hard advocating for those in recovery and fighting against the spread of illicit drugs in our community. Mark, a man with a great deal of conviction about a great deal of things and the wits to do something about it that is meaningful. Michael, who returned to our area to start a nonprofit to change the lives of students in our schools and sports teams. Brian, who started a very successful restaurant in our area. Rebecca, who wants to change the way we think about people living in recovery. Todd, who is successfully leading a church and about five other organizations for a better community.
Each of you help me to make the right decision even when it seems like I’m far away from the destination.
For the record, most of those leaders I just listed are under 40 (at least to my knowledge, so if you’re not, feel flattered, friends).
But I spend a lot of time with leaders who are, ahem, “wiser” than 40 – Rick and Judy and Dan and Everett and Julia. Their ability to stick with it over the long haul has been meaningful to me, and gives me a sense that there really is fruit for my labor.
I write this article for a few reasons. Maybe it’s mostly for me, but I hope it’s for this, too: to encourage that person who needs to be brave but can’t seem to find it within them. Friend, may you keep working hard.
A metaphor of biblical proportions is this: you reap what you sow. May we be the people who fight for our community, in whatever way we do it, with hard work and perseverance, so that when the harvest comes, we’ll be proud of what we’ve done.
Tennant is a Warren resident. Email him at editorial@tribtoday.com