Virus-delayed funerals bring families solace
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The work of a funeral director always has been about helping people get through the death of a loved one.
But COVID-19 heaped additional burdens on family members, such as placing restrictions on how many people they could invite to their memorial services in order to keep everyone safe.
Terrance Reardon of Higgins-Reardon Funeral Homes felt the suffering of such families most acutely in the spring of 2020 when the country went into lockdown and churches often limited the size of a funeral gathering to 10 people.
It meant the services for someone that might have drawn more than 100 family and friends ordinarily now was going to be limited to immediate family members.
Reardon compared it to what a friend was forced to do in April 2020.
"My best friend got married in April 2020, and his wife's family -- their grandparents -- weren't even allowed in the church. There were 10 people, so there were family who weren't even in the church," he said.
At the time, funeral directors tried to provide video-conferencing options to allow people from out of town to participate remotely. Funeral directors suggested holding a public memorial service later, when the virus abated.
SUMMER SERVICES
This summer offered that opportunity, when case numbers dropped because of the availability of vaccinations.
Obituaries in recent months have described services for people who died six months, even 18 months, earlier.
Reardon said Higgins-Reardon has held a few such delayed services in recent months. One family held a public service in June for its loved one, who died during one of the worst phases of COVID-19.
"At the end of July, we had a big family in which most of the kids live in town," he said. "The gentleman died last year in the peak of COVID, and they decided they wanted to wait until this year when COVID settled down a little bit," he said.
"They would have done something if they could have at the time, but the times wouldn't let them. I feel terrible for the delay. I couldn't imagine having to do that," he said. "The service is the ultimate form of closure, of celebration of that person."
A lot of people came out for the service, Reardon said. "It was really nice to be able to do that."
A similar service was held in June.
"I think both families were very pleased to get that person the memorial they deserved even though it was a year or so later," Reardon said.
The family of a Canfield woman who died in May 2020 held a celebration of life for her this July in an Ellsworth Township church.
A Columbiana man who died in March 2020 was celebrated in a Youngstown church in July, according to his obituary. A Poland man who died in November 2020 was celebrated with a memorial Mass at a Poland Church in July.
A Youngstown native who died in Texas in May 2020 was celebrated in a memorial service at a Boardman funeral home earlier this month, and a Southington woman who died in April 2020 was celebrated at a Warren funeral home earlier this month.
RESTRICTIONS
Funeral homes were exempt from restrictions imposed during the lockdown in early 2020, so they left it up to the family to decide what kind of COVID-19 restrictions they wanted to be in place at services.
"Whatever you are comfortable with, we're comfortable with," he said. "There was that period where masks were mandated, so obviously we did that in our facilities and did our best to allow for social distancing."
Because many churches instituted a limit of 10 people in church for funeral services, "some people decided to use the funeral home instead, so they could have maybe 20 or so people," Reardon said.
With cases back on the rise, a family recently asked masks be worn, including that in the obituary to tell guests in advance, he noted.
With the exception of the first three months of the COVID-19 pandemic, Higgins-Reardon has been providing full funeral services since about June 2020.
"In June, July, August, things started to open back up. In June we allowed families to go back to normal, at least in our facilities, if they wanted to."
December 2020 was a "tough month" because of the number of COVID-19 deaths, and most families kept their services pretty small and understood that people would expect to have to wear a mask and observe other precautions, he said.
KEEPING PRIVATE
Carl Barnett, one of the owners of the Carl W. Hall Funeral Home in Warren, said in many cases families have held a small, private service just after the person died and then a public memorial service later.
Frequently the funeral home is not involved in the second service except to provide a second obituary to the newspaper, Barnett said. He has seen delayed services in some of the area parks, such as Waddell Park in Niles and Packard Park in Warren.
He said the primary concern among families has been looking out for the safety of other people.
"It's not what they want. They don't want to jeopardize anybody else's life," he said. "It spreads pretty fast through a family if they live in the same household. We've had a couple where, when it's a husband and wife, within three days they pass away."