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When we think about caring for older adults, our minds often go immediately to their physical needs.
We think about medications, doctor's appointments, meals, mobility, personal care and making sure they are safe. But there is another part of caring for older adults that deserves just as much attention: their emotional and behavioral well-being.
There is a side of senior care that isn't always easy to see. It is loneliness. It is the loss of independence. It is grief, anxiety, depression, confusion and the adjustment to living in a long-term-care setting. It is missing a spouse, a friend, a familiar home or a life that once looked very different.
And sometimes, it is simply waiting for someone to come back.
Therapeutic behavioral services for seniors can address many of these needs through meaningful, purposeful interaction and emotional support. Depending on the individual, services can include conversation, reminiscence, coping skills, grief support, encouragement, emotional regulation, communication, activities and helping someone work through behaviors or situations that may be difficult for them.
But sometimes the most important thing isn't a particular activity or conversation. Sometimes it is the human connection itself.
A person doesn't have to speak to benefit from being spoken to. A smile, eye contact, recognition, a change in facial expression or simply becoming visibly brighter when someone walks into the room can communicate a tremendous amount. Sometimes, the response isn't in words at all. Sometimes it is simply the look on someone's face when they realize that someone came back.
This is especially meaningful when working with older adults who are nonverbal.
It can be easy to assume that if someone cannot respond verbally, they aren't able to participate in or benefit from a conversation.
But sitting beside someone, talking with them normally, asking about their day, sharing a laugh, listening to whatever sounds they may make and treating them with the same dignity and respect we would want for ourselves can make a visible difference.
They are still there. They are still experiencing the world around them.
And they still deserve to be included in it.
One of the misconceptions about long-term care is that once someone moves into a nursing home or other care setting, they have somehow reached the end of their story. There can be an unfortunate tendency to see older adults primarily through the lens of their illness, diagnosis, limitations or need for assistance. But a person does not stop being a person because they need more help.
They don't stop wanting companionship. They don't stop having memories worth sharing. They don't stop appreciating kindness. And they certainly don't stop wanting someone to care that they are there.
There is also something particularly meaningful about consistency. Many older adults hear someone say, "I'll be back to see you," without knowing when that will actually happen. Days pass. Sometimes weeks pass. The person may not know whether the visitor will return at all.
That is why showing up matters.
Having someone who regularly comes through the door, remembers you, talks with you and gives you something to look forward to can become an important part of someone's routine. It says, without needing many words, "I haven't forgotten you."
Quality Moments Behavioral Health Services is one local organization that provides behavioral health services through its Senior Care division.
Programs like these are a reminder that caring for older adults involves more than addressing their physical needs. Emotional and behavioral health matter too.
Sometimes care means helping someone work through grief, develop coping skills, communicate their feelings or manage difficult behaviors. Other times, it may simply mean taking the time to sit with someone, talk to them and let them know they have not been forgotten.
And perhaps that is something from which all of us can learn.
We don't have to be a therapist, nurse, social worker or professional caregiver to make a difference in an older person's life. We can visit. We can call. We can sit and listen. We can ask about their childhood, their marriage, their favorite music or the job they once had. We can look them in the eye instead of looking past them.
We can remember their name.
We can ask how they are doing and actually wait for the answer.
We can return when we say we will.
Growing older does not mean a person has become less valuable, less interesting or less deserving of our time. And living in a care facility does not mean someone is simply waiting for life to end.
There are still moments to be shared. There are still smiles to be discovered. There are still stories to tell, even when the person telling them can no longer speak.
Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give another person is the simple reassurance that they have not been forgotten.
"I'll be back to see you."
For some older adults, those words may have been said to them many times before, only to become another unfulfilled promise. But what if "I'll be back to see you" meant exactly what it said?
What if it meant that someone would return, sit beside them again, remember their name, pick up where they left off and remind them that they matter?
For someone living in long-term care, knowing that someone is coming back can give them something to look forward to.
And sometimes, that simple promise, followed by a return, can mean more than we will ever know.