DEAR HELOISE: I cannot go without responding to Bob, in Santa Ana, California, who said that not thanking someone for a gift is somehow acceptable. I feel confident that most people don’t give gifts to receive a thank-you note, as he implies. Gifts are defined with the caveat of “not expecting anything in return.”

But extending acknowledgement and appreciation is just plain common courtesy and decency, especially if a request is involved as it is in a wedding registry. There was certainly time and motivation required to devise and post a wish list. This also applies if the gift was mailed, and/or the “thanks” couldn’t be made in person.

I understand sending thank-you notes via snail mail is obsolete; however, a brief text or email doesn’t seem like too much to ask. I reduced my own “obligatory” and on-a-budget gift-giving (i.e., giving holiday gifts to adult nieces and nephews) after years of no acknowledgment or thanks. I didn’t cut them off from my life; I just stopped unreciprocated and unappreciated gift-giving. In my circle, no one has been “hurt” by this, as he implies.

— Donna, in Ohio

Donna, I’m glad that no one was hurt, but I can’t help wondering why a parent wouldn’t insist that their child practice the simple art of a “thank you.” Whether or not a thank you is expected, it’s still a kind, classy move to show appreciation. The gift-giver usually feels a certain sense of enjoyment that their gift meant something to the person who received it.

— Heloise

DEAR HELOISE: There was a recent query in your column about a use for the bags that linen sets come in. I am a side sleeper who occasionally rolls onto his back, so a standard-sized pillow is too large for me. I take a standard-sized bath towel and fold it in half twice (making it 4 layers thick), then fold the remainder in from each side for a total of 12 layers. I place this into my linen bag for a perfect fit.

The 12 layers of terry are the perfect height to keep my neck’s spinal column straight as I sleep. This pillow is small enough that if I roll onto my back, I roll off the pillow, which keeps my neck straight. This pillow is formable, it perfectly matches my sheet set, and it gets laundered (after the towel is removed) along with the sheets.

— Richard D.,

in New York

DEAR HELOISE: Regarding tips on shower caps, I have a couple: They are perfect for covering a cut watermelon (and are reusable). They also fit over bicycle helmets when cycling in the rain.

— Sharon R.,

in Oro Valley, Arizona

KEEP BROWN SUGAR SOFT

Dear Heloise: I used to struggle with brown sugar turning into a hard lump, but now I keep it soft with one easy trick — I place a marshmallow inside the container and seal it tightly. The marshmallow releases just enough moisture to keep the sugar soft and easy to scoop. I check it occasionally and replace it when it dries out.

Since I started using this method, I no longer deal with clumps or have to break the sugar apart. Baking and cooking feel much smoother now. I learned this the hard way after ruining a recipe with rock-hard sugar. This small addition makes a big difference and keeps everything ready to use when I need it. — Peter N., in Buffalo, New York

PERFECT PURSE STORAGE

Dear Heloise: I repurpose my sheet and pillowcase sacks by placing my seasonal purses in them. This way, the purses stay free from dust until next season, and the cloth bag can easily be washed when needed. — Kristine S., via email

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