My friend Laura asked what kind of cookies I would like her to bring to the gathering.

I know there’s not supposed to be such a thing as a stupid question, but this came close. As a wise philosopher once intoned, “We have an open-door policy. Bring chocolate, and we’ll open the door.”

And another said, “Good friends bring happiness; best friends bring chocolate.”

Because best friends would never, ever, ever show up bearing oatmeal raisin cookies. Never. Not ever.

Replace those poisonous raisins with chocolate chips, and now you have a cookie worthy of opening the door.

Chocolate is always the answer.

The great philosopher Sandra Boynton observed, “The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare… neither knew chocolate.”

Two great quotes to live by are “Roses are red, violets are blue, keep the roses, chocolate will do” and “When someone tells me to stop eating chocolate, I stop listening.”

After all, who stuck by you when the woes of life crashed down around you? It wasn’t broccoli, I can tell you that. Rutabagas never even showed their rooty little faces in times of stress and distress.

But chocolate was there for you. Chocolate understands you better than people do.

To paraphrase the great philosopher Will Rogers, I’ve never met a problem that chocolate couldn’t handle. It’s the only substance I trust to make everything better.

“When the going gets tough,” the great philosopher Erma Bombeck noted, “the tough make cookies.” Presumably, chocolate chip.

Or as the great philosopher Jill Shalvis put it, “Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.”

The great philosopher Dave Barry once noted, “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

The world is full of delicious thoughts on chocolate.

A wise maxim attributed to Good Ol’ Charlie Schulz states, “Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.”

Obviously, a Snickers bar or a dark chocolate truffle would be far less painful than, say, running six miles. Chocolate doesn’t leave you with side stitches and blisters.

Not that stretching isn’t important — especially when reaching for the chocolate stash that you hid on the top shelf.

Another chocolate nugget from Charles M. Schulz, he of Peanuts fame: “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

“Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate,” the great philosopher John Milton said.

The great philosopher Miranda Ingram posited, “Don’t think that chocolate is a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate.”

And the great philosopher Mel Gibson offered this life lesson: “After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.”

Chocolate is the duct tape of life. It fixes nearly everything. Which means that if at first you don’t succeed, eat more chocolate.

The great philosopher Terry Moore was a proponent of the 12-Step Chocolate Program: “Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate.”

Warning: A devotion to chocolate can cause one to become sidetracked. So, um, yeah, Laura, I’ll take chocolate chip cookies, please. And thank you.

Philosophize over chocolate with Cole at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.