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January: Out with the old, in with the sequel

Burt’s Eye View

Welcome to January, the month of empty pockets, icy roads, and freshly made / freshly broken promises.

January, as one meme described it, is the worst month. “You’re fat and broke from the holidays, paler than ever, and you can’t feel your own face when you walk outside.”

It’s the month for kicking yourself for all those faux pas you committed during holiday get-togethers. It turns out that your 6-year-old nephew thinks it’s wonderful when you say, “My, look how big you’ve grown since last year,” but your 36-year-old sister-in-law explodes with a totally different reaction when you say it to her.

In January, Christmas fudge fades from the calendar and cookies once again contain calories.

But cheer up. It’s officially 2022 and you’re here. We made it! It’s a brand new year, full of hope for as yet unwritten chapters of our lives.What could go wrong?

And try not to dwell on the fact that another way of saying 2022 is 2020 II, the sequel.

Let’s get this party started. I’ve invited over a few of our nearest and dearest friends (whom we’ve never met) to share their thoughts on this great and long month of January.

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” — Bill Vaughn.

“January is like a Monday, but longer.” — anonymous

“If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.” — Roald Dahl.

“I can’t wait to control-alt-delete 2021, and start anew.” — anonymous

“Before we agree to 2022, let’s review the terms and conditions.” — meme

“Sometimes I wonder if all of this is happening because I didn’t forward that email to 10 people.” — meme

“I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.” — Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

“Leaving a bookstore is hard, especially on a day in January, when the ice is treacherous, the wind is blowing, and the books inside seem to gather together in colorful warmth.” — Jane Smiley.

“While I relish our warm months, winter forms our character and brings out our best.” — Tom Allen

“Call it ‘the New Year’s resolution effect’– it’s why gyms that were crowded in January are only half full in July and why so many slightly used guitars are available on Craigslist.” — Anders Ericsson

“I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.” — anonymous

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.” — anonymous

“January is the month for dreaming.” — Jean Hersey.

“I love beginnings. If I were in charge of calendars, every day would be January 1.” — Jerry Spinelli.

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” — Plato.

“January is the quietest month in the garden… But just because it looks quiet doesn’t mean that nothing is happening.” — Rosalie Muller Wright.

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” — Oprah Winfrey.

Here’s to January leading off a hope-filled and fulfilling 2022.

— Resolve to write Cole at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com, the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook or at burtonwcole.com.

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