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Just chillin’ while my friends write my vacation column

I harbor big travel plans for my vacation week. I plan to wander from the bedroom all the way to the living room — but not every day. Some days, I’ll do nothing at all, except maybe take a side trip to the refrigerator.

Not that I won’t leave the house at all on vacation. It’s that I don’t have to be anywhere in particular at any precise time. I’ve locked my clock and calendar in the closet.

You know what else I don’t have to do on vacation? Write my column. I’m going to lounge here in this reclining lawn chair under the shade tree in parts unknown (not letting anyone know where they can find you is key to a relaxing vacation) with a good book over my face while I snooze happily.

I’ve called on a few of my friends, great philosophers all, to share their thoughts about vacations. Imagine hearing waves lapping the shoreline as you read.

“A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.” — Earl Wilson

“After a while, just staying alive becomes a full-time job. No wonder we need a vacation.” — Michael Zadoorian

“When all else fails, take a vacation.” — Betty Williams

“The ant is knowing and wise, but he doesn’t know enough to take a vacation.” — Clarence Day

“As you grow older, you learn a few things. One of them is to actually take the time you’ve allotted for vacation.” — John Battelle

“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” — Robert Orben

“I want to vacation so long, I forget all my passwords.” — anonymous

“A vacation should be just long enough for the boss to miss you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.” — Jacob Morton Braude

“Taking a vacation can actually increase the likelihood of getting a raise or a promotion.” — Shawn Achor (Hint, hint, Boss.)

“I learned a long time ago that trying to micromanage the perfect vacation is always a disaster. That leads to terrible times.” — Anthony Bourdain

“A vacation is a sunburn at premium prices.” — Hal Chadwicke

“The average vacation is one-tenth playing; nine-tenths paying.” — Arnold Glasow

“Oh the places you’ll go.” — Dr. Seuss

“No matter where you go, there you are.” –Buckaroo Banzi

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.” — anonymous

“Vacation calories don’t count.” — anonymous

“Excuse me while I taunt my Facebook friends with another picture of my beach vacation.” — Unknown

“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” — anonymous

“Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success.” — Mark Twain

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” — Leo Tolstoy

“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.” — Elbert Hubbard

“There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” — anonymous

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” — Milton Berle

See you next week — if I can remember my passwords and the way to the office.

— Slide into the hammock next to Cole’s at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com, the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook or www.burtonwcole.com.

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