July forecast: Partly weird with ice cream
Burt's Eye View
June’s been a little rough. The hot water heater died, turning showers into a chilling experience; there were unexpected family field trips to hospitals; and no one, not even me, baked a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting.
July has to be better.
I peeked ahead on the calendars of odd and obscure celebrations. If not better, July will be weirder.
Take a trip through the calendar pages with me.
July 1 — Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day, International Chicken Wing Day and International Joke Day. This is a promising start — unless the bit about ice cream and wings was a joke. Also, it’s Resolution Renewal Day, in case you remember what you promised on Jan. 1.
July 2 — I Forgot Day (so much for the resolution).
July 3 — Compliment Your Mirror Day, you hunk of handsomeness you.
July 4 — Build A Scarecrow Day. (Keep it away from the Independence Day fireworks.)
July 5 — National Bikini Day and Workaholics Day. Sounds like two different crowds on that one.
July 6 — International Kissing Day. I’m not going international, I’m just going home.
July 7 — Chocolate Day. ‘Nuff said. Oh, and Strawberry Sundae Day, too. Now ’nuff said.
July 8 — Freezer pop day. Make mine an ice cream bar instead, please.
July 9 — National Sugar Cookie Day.
July 10 — Teddy Bear Picnic Day and Don’t Step on a Bee Day (that’s every day for me).
July 11 — Cheer up the Lonely Day and National Blueberry Muffins Day. Muffins cheer me up.
July 12 — Different Colored Eyes Day.
July 13 — Gruntled Workers Day. Don’t dis this one.
July 14 — Pandemonium Day and Shark Awareness Day. Those go together like peanut butter and strawberry jelly.
July 15 — Cow Appreciation Day. No cows, no ice cream. Give moo-moo a hug.
July 16 — World Snake Day. Your boa wants to hug you.
July 17 — World Emoji Day. Insert smiley face here. Also, it’s Peach Ice Cream Day.
July 18 — National Ice Cream Day. I’m sensing a theme.
July 19 — National Raspberry Cake Day and Get Out of the Doghouse Day. So if she likes raspberry cake…
July 20 — National Ice Cream Soda Day. Wow, what a month!
July 21 — National Be Someone Day. As Sammy Davis sang, I gotta be me.
July 22 — Hammock Day. I’m hanging mine over my desk. Any ice cream soda left?
July 23 — Vanilla Ice Cream Day. Deja vu and pass the hot fudge.
July 24 — Cousins Day and Tell an Old Joke Day. Get together and chortle over ice cream.
July 25 — National Chili Dog Day. With ice cream for dessert, I presume.
July 26 — All or Nothing Day. You in?
July 27 — Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. Fine, but you carry the ficus.
July 28 — National Milk Chocolate Day. Or use it to make, well, you know.
July 29 — National Lasagna Day. Absolutely!
July 30 — National Cheesecake Day. What, no ice cream?
July 31 — National Avocado Day and National Watermelon Day. Or avocado and watermelon ice cream?
Yes, July will be a little strange but better — because there’s ice cream, and where there’s ice cream, there’s cake.
— Have a cone with Cole at firstname.lastname@example.org or at www.burtonwcole.com.