Greet new year with quips, quotes and conundrums

Burt's Eye View

Way back in fourth grade, I tried to calculate my odds of living long enough to see the year 2000. I’d have to be something like 40 years old — ancient! As if ANYONE could live that long.

Now we’re about to welcome the year 2019, and I’ll be something like 60 years — which seems pretty young.

One of those concepts must be twisted thinking, but I’m not sure which one.

While I contemplate that, here is some collected wisdom from The Great Philosophers for you to ponder as we hang a new calendar on the wall.

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughan

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” — Bill Vaughn

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.” — Anonymous

“I think I made too many New Year’s resolutions this year. It took me almost a full day to break them all.” — Anonymous

“My New Year’s resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds.” — Nia Vardalos

“A year from now, you’re gonna weigh more or less than what you do right now.” — Phil “Dr. Phil” McGraw

“Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.” — Dave Beard

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” — Anonymous

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” — Anonymous

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!” — Joey Adams

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” — Brad Paisley

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” — Seneca

“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.” — Benjamin Franklin

“What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.” — Vern McLellan

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis

“Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” — Neil Gaiman

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou

“You will never win if you never begin.” — Helen Rowland

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” — Anne Frank

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” — Nelson Mandela

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” — Proverbs 16:9

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” — Philippians 4:6

“Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” — Helen Keller

— Happy New Year! burtseyeview@tribtoday.com; Burton W. Cole on Facebook; @BurtonWCole on Twitter.