September calendar filled with days of wonder and food
Ah, September, that fantastic month. And there are more reasons to celebrate than the average calendar tells you. For one, September is my birthday month, but the only calendar I’ve seen that written on is the one on my mom’s refrigerator.
What else makes September great? Here’s a sampling of just a few of the quirkier commemorations found only on those calendars of oddities:
• Today, Teddy Bear Day — Garfield has Pooky. Christopher Robin has Pooh. Kermit has Fozzie. Grab your snuggly and join the teddy bear parade. I hear Paddington will be there.
It’s also Grandparents Day. We make great substitutes for teddy bears, especially to teddy bear picnics.
• Sept. 10, Sewing Machine Day — My mom and her sewing machine created the original designer clothes modeled by my brothers and me.
• Sept. 12, Chocolate Milk Shake Day — I love nutritional commemorations.
• Sept. 13, It’s Defy Superstition Day, and Fortune Cookie Day — How’s that for a goofy pairing?
• Sept. 14, National Cream-Filled Doughnut Day — Make mine a Boston cream.
• Sept. 15, Make a Hat Day — When you’ve finished reading today’s newspaper, fold it and wear it.
• Sept. 16, National Play-Doh Day, and Wife Appreciation Day — Hey guys, we can mold Play-Doh necklaces for our sweeties. They’ll be thrilled that we took the time to roll the Play-Doh ourselves just for them.
• Sept. 17, National Apple Dumpling Day — If you think that’s great, keep turning the calendar pages.
• Sept. 18, National Cheeseburger Day — See. Pass the ketchup.
• Sept. 19, National Butterscotch Pudding Day, and International Talk Like a Pirate Day — But please don’t butterscotch and “arrr!” at the same time.
• Sept. 20, National Pepperoni Pizza Day — Has anyone seen my diet? Not this month.
• Sept. 21, Miniature Golf Day — Take a break to work off a few pounds in time for the next special food day.
• Sept. 22, Elephant Appreciation Day, and Hobbit Day — Take your favorite hobbit to the zoo.
• Sept. 23, Checkers Day, and Dog in Politics Day — It’s a two-fer: We’re celebrating both the board game and Checkers the dog, a gift to then-vice presidential candidate Richard M. Nixon. King me.
• Sept. 24 National Cherries Jubilee Day — Phew! We’ve gone four whole days without a food to celebrate.
• Sept. 25, National Comic Book Day — I love literary holidays.
• Sept. 26, Johnny Appleseed Day — Johnny, the worms salute you.
• Sept. 27, Crush a Can Day — Helpful hint: Drink the root beer first. Especially if you’re crushing the can against your forehead.
• Sept. 28, Ask a Stupid Question Day — Do forehead dents ever come out? Asking for a friend who celebrated Crush a Can Day.
• Sept. 29 Confucius Day — We really mean National Chinese Buffet Day. Where else are you going to find one of Confucius’ sayings except inside a fortune cookie?
• Sept. 30, National Mud Pack Day — It’s also time to pack it in for September. Let’s skip October celebrations or we’ll be too stuffed to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner in November.
What an awesome month!
Report your favorite September celebrations at firstname.lastname@example.org, on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook or @BurtonWCole on Twitter.