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You know what’s dumb? The definition we’ve created for the word “dumb.” That’s not what it means.
It’s just another example of word abuse that’s, well, dumb.
According to wordsmith Noah “Merriam” Webster – a guy who probably eats Alpha-Bits cereal every morning and slurps alphabet soup for lunch every day – dumb means “lacking the human power of speech” or “lacking the ability to speak.”
The next four definitions run along the same etymological lines.
It’s not until the sixth and furthest from the original definition that we find the way most of us use “dumb” – “lacking intelligence: stupid.”
See, when I called your pet a “dumb dog,” I wasn’t being mean. I was stating a dictionary fact. A dog by definition IS dumb – it doesn’t talk. And no, “woof,” “arf” and “yeowl-owl-owl-ooooh” are not figures of speech.
Dumbing down the distinction of definitions is an example of one of the “dumbest” things we do – take a perfectly good word and twist it out of recognition.
Not only that, the new meaning makes no sense.
For a good chunk of us, the only time we get into trouble is when we open our big mouths.
It’s only when we’re “dumb” – as in, keeping our yaps shut – that we’re truly smart. Or at least appear that way.
Someone once accused me of being wise: “You always ponder the question before you speak.”
It’s my greatest deception. The truth is my brain slogs along so slowly that it takes a few seconds to comprehend that someone actually is seeking an opinion from me. Once I nudge my thoughts awake, it takes a long time for the answer to the question to chug around the wrinkles of the cerebellum, turn around because it went the wrong way, study a road map, get on the correct synapse and finally pop out of my mouth.
It’s masked as a well-considered conclusion. Actually, I was too dumb to figure out what to say.
The point is, the word “dumb” – not speaking – should be synonymous with “brilliant,” not “stupid.”
As the saying goes, even a fish wouldn’t get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut.
It even makes wedded bliss blissier. Hear the words of the great philosopher Ogden Nash:
“To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.”
Wise King Solomon figured it out: “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” (Proverbs 17:28, ESV)
It’s when you insist on speaking your mind that people begin to suspect that you don’t have one. The longer a person talks, the stronger the evidence.
I could make some comment here about looking no further than political campaigns for proof, but instead I think I’ll quote the great philosopher Will Rogers: “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
Here’s my chance and I’m taking it. Pretty smart, huh?
— We’re not sure if we should say Cole is as dumb as a box of rocks or as smart as a box of rocks, since the rocks sit silently and sagaciously in the box. Either way, speak up at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.