Trending
I made my greatest fortune in Monopoly money. Ah, the feeling of blue, pink, yellow, green and goldenrod bills fluttering from my fingertips. The feeling of power was so intoxicating, it made me want to buy a hotel. Or at least a couple houses. Green, of course.
Apparently, that's about to change.
Hasbro, maker of the iconic board game, plans to release the Monopoly Ultimate Banking edition this fall. All those wads of cash are being replaced by an ATM-like banking machine. Players will use debit cards. All the property deeds come with scannable bar codes. Prices will fluctuate.
I think I'm going to cry. Monopoly was my last bastion of carrying cash.
When we were kids, we'd dig pop bottles out of the ditch on the way to the corner store to turn them in for the deposit. We'd plunk our muddy glass treasures onto the counter and the store owner gave us nickels and dimes in return.
We loved the sound of change jingling in our pockets -- which didn't last long. The store owner also stocked wax lips, Hershey's bars, comic books and baseball cards, all of which cost a dime each. The baseball cards also included a stick of cardboard-like bubble gum.
We couldn't believe that some people were so rich that they threw glass pop bottles out of their car windows instead of turning them in for the deposit. But we were grateful.
Still, I couldn't wait to hear the sound of crinkles, not jingles, in my pocket.
Eventually, I went to work at my cousin's ice cream and burger stand, Coley Cole's Dairy Dreem. I earned -- no, let me restate that, since "earn" might be too strong of a word for my labors -- about $1.25 an hour, plus a food allowance. In no time at all, I was able to walk around town with upwards of six or seven dollars in my pocket. All of them at one time. My head spun at the wealth.
Like other teens, I kept a hand in my pocket as I walked. Adults thought we were trying look cool. We just wanted to make sure none of our stash got away. After all, by this time, baseball cards and Hershey bars cost 15 cents each, and comic books had just jumped to 25 cents an issue. And we had burgers and milkshakes to fit into the budget. Sometimes, I'd scout ditches for pop bottles to supplement my inflation-ravaged income.
What I needed, I realized, was a credit card. Mom and Dad had just got one and it was magic! You picked up whatever you wanted, like a transistor radio that played both AM and FM stations, gave the clerk your card, and you walked out of the store holding the radio, singing along to "Seasons in the Sun" with Terry Jacks and you still had your other hand around crinkles of paper.
Flash forward several decades (never mind how many) and I hardly ever put my hand in my pocket. I'm afraid I'll stub my fingers on the edges of all those hard plastic cards I'm forced to carry wherever I go. Besides the credit card, there's a debit card, a driver's license, insurance card, library cards, security cards, customer loyalty cards, gas cards, a hotel room card I forgot to turn in… There's no room for my hand because my pocket is jammed with cards.
But no cash.
Monopoly was the last place I could go to relive that same excitement of turning in pop bottles: "I just passed go. Give me my $200! Small bills, please. I want to feel my fist full."
I'm not ready for my Monopoly debit card.
— Jingle change at Cole at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.