Have you ever noticed that we humans tend to do things that, well, sorta don’t make a whole heckuva lot of sense?

When we’re scared, for instance, a decent amount of us start with, you know, the breathing.

Well, I mean, naturally, we all breathe all the time. Obvi. Sheesh!

But I refer to that intense, “Don’t look now! Run for your life! There’s a mouse in the kitchen!” type of abnormal inhalation.

Because when we are afraid, a great number of us indulge in that super-duper, lungful, prolonged and accentuated panting, you dig?

What can I say? Panic = hyperventilation. At least it does for me.

As a matter of fact, breathing is sort of the new black.

What I mean to say is, in 2022, breathing is not just how humans human, but it’s also a legitimate source of exercise.

Apparently, there’s a whole method of inhaling and exhaling that doctors are actually prescribing to their patients complaining of stress / anxiety.

The 4-7-8 breathing technique, known as “relaxation breathing,” is particularly popular and includes the following:

・ Breathe in quietly through your nose for four seconds;

・ Hold the breath for seven seconds;

・ Exhale forcefully through your mouth with a “whooshing” sound for eight seconds;

・ Close your eyes and count to 10 slowly;

・ Repeat as needed.

Here’s what the Baton Rouge clinic suggests:

・ Chew a piece of gum.

Studies show that the slow, methodical act of chewing gum keeps blood flowing to the brain, allowing you to concentrate better and keep a level head during a bout of anxiety. It also helps you resist the urge to reach for a less-healthy option, like a pint of ice cream — or a cocktail.

・ Phone a friend — preferably a funny one.

Touching base with someone you love can provide instant calm. Laughing is proven to release endorphins, the “feel-good chemicals” in our brains that help release tension and elevate overall mood.

・ Smell lavender.

Light a lavender candle or soak in a lavender bubble bath. In aromatherapy, lavender is one of the stars of stress-relief, along with chamomile, rose, ylang-ylang and citrus.

・ Curl up with your cat or dog.

Just 10 minutes of petting your furry pal can reduce stress hormones and promote a feeling of calmness.

・ Listen to calming music.

Cue up your favorite tune, but nothing with a frantic beat or depressing lyrics. Then sit back, close your eyes and concentrate on the words and the rhythm. Go ahead and sing along if you wish. Studies show singing releases endorphins.

・ Exercise your body.

Physical activity of any kind helps release stress. Take a 15-minute timeout for a brisk walk around the neighborhood; the fresh air also will help clear your head. If you’re stuck indoors, try a few reps of jumping jacks, jog up and down the stairs or take a spin on your exercise bike.

・ Exercise your mind and spirit.

Practice yoga, meditate, get a massage, write in your journal, give yourself a pedicure or take a relaxing nap.

Heck, if none of those work, just shoot me an email. I’ll have you napping in no time.

Kimerer is a columnist who thinks zen is the new black, yo. Send good vibes her way at pkimerer@zoominternet.net.