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My Sentiments Exactly
I know how you feel; I share your emotions.
I understand how, with bated breath, you watched every second of that drama unfold last Tuesday night.
It seemed to go on forever and ever and two days. It wore us all out … came right down to the wire, as it were.
Then suddenly, bam! The Cleveland Cavaliers lose their first game of the 2016-17 season.
Tears.
Wait, was something else going on that night? Oh right. President-gate.
Ugh. #thankheavensitsfinallyover.
Look, I know we all woke up with something of a massive hangover on Wednesday, no matter who we were rooting for. And I, for one, don't even drink alcohol.
Ya gotta love irony.
In fact, I find it fittingly poetic that, in the battle of the two least popular presidential candidates in our history, this slugfest over the popular vote was nearly a draw.
Who really wants the moniker of winning this election's "popular vote," anyway? It's like saying, "Of all of the most loathsome, despicable, rotten people you've ever considered electing to the highest office in the country, I'm second."
Shrug.
Listen, as we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off from what was undeniably the ugliest political season in modern times, let's all embrace some of the takeaways from Election Day 2016, shall we?
1. Never assume victory.
Look, I didn't expect the Atlanta Hawks to beat us Tuesday. I mean, we whomped 'em the last 11 times we played each other. But, guess what? Even the seemingly heavy favorite can sometimes lose. And big.
By the way, if you do happen to lose, at least come out and greet the fans who've supported you tirelessly for your entire career. The ones waiting and waiting and waiting to see a glimpse of you. The people who've been there for you no matter what. Taking out your frustration by biting the hand that's fed you is just rude, yo. And it's bad form.
2. Trash-talking the other guy is a bad idea.
Not only did all the negative campaigning and obvious media bias not work on a majority of voters, it seems to have actually backfired. On both sides, BTW. The high road is called that for a reason, people.
3. Always speak, write and act like you're being recorded ... 'cause you kind of are.
Whether online or just plain old out there in the open air, you should always conduct yourself accordingly. In today's world, ladies and gents, communication is not, I repeat, is absolutely not, private. If you say, write, email, text or in any other fashion utter it, you better be ready to own it. Just speak like your Mom's in the room at all times.
4. Sometimes, either choice stinks.
In life, there are many instances when your options are bad or worse. It's a harsh fact that sometimes any and all choices staring you in the face are equally undesirable. Say a little prayer and choose the one that lets you sleep at night.
5. Don't hate someone just because they disagree with you.
It's all over now. The online barbs, the nasty jabs, the horrid insults and offensive intonations can all stop. Let's remember that just because we may not have voted for the same person doesn't mean we have to lose lifelong relationships with people for whom we care very deeply. Forget the election rhetoric and remember that you were friends before Nov. 8 -- and you're friends now.
6. America is the greatest country on Earth.
He may not have been everyone's top pick, but Donald Trump will take the presidential oath of office in two short months. And guess what? The sun will still rise. Christmas will still come Dec. 25. The stock market will bounce back. This is still America, the best country anywhere, period. Let's all rally together for the sake of our collective good.
7. Don't be a jerk.
Rioting because your candidate didn't win? Threatening to move out of the country? Holding onto hateful idioms? Dude, please. Respect America and your fellow man / woman or pack your stuff and go; you will not be missed if you are trashing this country from within. Period.
8. One nation, under God, indivisible …
Indivisible. United. Inseparable. Together. Do you think it's a coincidence "indivisible" and "united" are in our nation's pledge? Nope. Treat each other with kindness. Be compassionate. Love ... because, after all, the good Lord is with us, so let's show Him we got this. Today and every day, let's stand together as Americans.
P.S.: And if The Donald messes up, in four years we'll just tell him, "You're fired!"
God Bless 'Murica!
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who's just as shocked as you about the election … and loves America, no matter what. Visit her via www.patriciakimerer.com