I belong to several Facebook groups that discuss caregivers who take care of their parents, and my heart goes out to so many of them because I know how exhausting this can be in so many facets.

First, on the caregiver, then the spouse, the household work begins to decline and relationships start to fall. The strain of caregiving can significantly strain relationships, as the caregiver’s attention and energy are often fully consumed by the caregiving responsibilities.

You begin to walk on eggshells and wait for the following situation you will have to face and deal with. When you think you are off the hook for the evening 30 seconds later, you are at it again.

It’s been on my heart for quite a while to create an educational component, visiting high schools and talk to students about aging to educate them on the aging process. It would also give them a little bit of a mindset to understand the aging process to help when they begin to plan their lives.

They may be put into a position where they, too, are going to have to care for their parents with an individual having self-determination. Still, these young adults need to know that as they plan their lives they may be placed in the position to decide how or what to do to care for their parents.

Looking back, I wish I had insight about this because I didn’t realize it could, or would, happen.

Sometimes, I wonder if I would have been more prepared, could I have possibly handled this better than I am?

When I say that I’m not saying it in the way of not doing a good job caring for my mom, but possibly having some better plans in place, such as having a home with an extra room.

Just having the insurance that additional space would be where my mother would be aging, providing better support while I researched caregiving and being a caregiver.

You see, it’s different when you can turn it on and off when you’re not the primary person. It’s easy to walk away after you do your shift and put it off in the back of your mind until you have to go back, but it’s different when you’re the child caring for the parent, and it’s exhausting.

My professor always told our class never to say that the role has been reversed and that now you’re taking care of the parent, and it’s like taking care of a child.

It sure feels that way, Professor Stearns.

A trusted family member or friend to confide in about your concerns can provide much-needed emotional support. It’s essential to have a support system to share the emotional burden of caregiving and seek advice or assistance when needed.

Seeking help from family members or trusted friends for assistance with errands or considering the involvement of a nursing student from a local technical school in providing care for your loved ones can be highly effective.

Furthermore, it’s worth exploring the diverse programs available through the Trumbull County Senior Levy Services, as they may offer comprehensive and low to no-cost care options tailored to your loved one’s needs.

Finding support from family or trusted friends for running errands can be highly beneficial, and considering the assistance of a nursing student from a local technical school is a brilliant idea.

Finding resources that align with your loved one’s values and belief system is crucial for delivering the best possible care for them. It’s essential to consider their preferences and ensure that the resources and support available align with what they hold dear.

I’m doing all I can to make sound decisions for my mother and I hear my mom make all the please, like I did as a child.

Please don’t do that. Please let me have that. Please take me here. I don’t want to go; I’m not changing my clothes. I’m not getting a bath. I’m not eating my dinner. I could go on and on.

I have learned the art of redirection to help my mom to change her focus to something else. Mom tells me all the time how she doesn’t understand what is happening to her, and even though I can see in her eyes that she is not quite sure what is going on, she can trust me that in the end, it will “B O K.”

Those are the three letters I tell her to remember. Through it all, she does.

Roberta Cykon is a Youngstown State University graduate and a licensed social worker and gerontologist. Roberta is in her second three-year term with the Trumbull County Senior Service Advisory Council. If you have any topics or questions you would like Roberta to discuss email her at

rmcykon01@gmail.com.