January in northeast Ohio: Are you up for it?

Well, here we go. January in northeast Ohio.

Heaving, desperate, soul-crushing SIGH.

I find myself sympathizing with the fictional Joey Tribianni of the sitcom “Friends.” You may recall the episode (aptly titled “The One Where Everyone Turns 30”) when he’s questioning why the Big Guy’s letting him and the rest of the gang (but mostly HIM) age: “Why GOD, WHY are you doing this to us?”

Hmm. Then again, why not? It IS January. In northeast Ohio.

We know where we live, yo. We know it’s winter. And it’s gonna, you know, snow. And be all gray and icky.


Such is winter in northeast Ohio. Or, as Monica said in a different episode of “Friends”: “Come on people, it’s gut check time!”

Hey, don’t complain. You knew of my “Friends” fixation early on in this “I write, you read” (and hopefully laugh?) scenario. Though some might consider it something of a character flaw, I’m kind of a “Friends” freak. It’s part of my, er, charm. Well, maybe not charm, exactly, but it’s a character flaw I embrace with full absence of malice, thank you very much.

So, in fairness, you really can’t grumble over “Friends” references at this stage of the game.

Besides, it could be worse — I could start fixating on “Yellowstone” again, if you’d prefer? #ObsessedWithTheDuttons

What? It’s still a pandemic, people. At this point, the TV is the most necessary appliance in the house, a’ght? Sorry, stove. #NotReally Hey, microwaves need love, too? Don’t judge.

Fine. Maybe I’m watching a little too much television right now. OK, you can judge.

Look, it’s not my fault. Surviving January in northeast Ohio is not for the faint of heart. Clearly, I should know. After all, it IS my 53rd one.

Oof … I’m old.

And speaking of my five decades-plus trips around that star we keep circling — how’s about a little throwback to the “Yellowstone” of MY era, aka, “Dallas.”

Now, I’m certain I’m not the first or only TV-holic to notice the similarities between these two monster shows. Wealthy, dysfunctional families run by ruthless-but-heart-of-gold, moguls … each member who’s sorta loyal to each other but kinda selfish. Ooh, and one son’s an angel and the other is just hateful. Then there’s the daughter who’s a whole hot mess…

I guess it makes sense, since show co-creator Taylor Sheridan (yes, THAT Taylor Sheridan from “Veronica Mars”) is only two sun-trips my junior, by the by. I bet “Dallas” was his jam, too, back when we watched it in our jammies.

Either way, here’s the point: Whatever gets you through the gloom and doom of January in NE Ohio, you go for it, my friends. I’ll be there for you — even if your family has to pry you, kicking and screaming, off the couch.

Hmpf, what do they know? Psst, Sundays, 8 p.m., Paramount Network. Just sayin’…

Kimerer is a columnist busy watching a “Yellowstone” marathon. Check out her blog at www.patriciakimerer.com.


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