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Classic films satisfy inner dork extraordinaire

Everyone who knows me knows that I’m a “laugh and the world laughs at, er, I mean with you” sorta gal.

Hee.

It’s true, however, that chuckling and giggling and being silly and snort-soaked chortling are some of my deepest loved pastimes.

Indeed, reality in 2021 is not always heaps of cackles so I’ll take a laugh wherever I can get one. Giving one? Even better.

So, it’s not a secret that I’m all about really funny movies. That being said, I do love me a good old-fashioned romance a la Turner Classic Movies.

In fact, I love all types of old movies…especially black and white films. I just do.

It’s a fun fact the two blokes with whom I cohabitate cannot quite comprehend.

They think me a bit of a square and vocalize it every time our color television loses its hues. To be fair, their opinion on this is likely not based solely on my love of the early “talkies.”

Fine. There does appear to be ample footage supporting their notion of my uncool status.

(Editor’s Note: With my twisted mop mess of Brillo Pad-esque straw hair, poo-painted brown eyes, and a lumpy honker the general size and shape of Rhode Island, I can see where most might find me a tad more Potsy than Fonzie.)

It’s OK, really. I accepted my geekiness ages ago though I still can’t hmpf just a little when my boys diss me for being a dork.

Sorry, I digressed. OK, wait; actually, one more quick preview before the main attraction.

What’s with the whole “Editor’s Note” reference all the time?

I mean, sometimes, lotsa times, and dare I declare, even most times, it’s honestly the author’s note.

No offense to editors, natch.

But come on, we lowly writers can and do edit — particularly, we often pre-edit, as in, self-edit, which we probs should not be doing. Because, at least from my perspective, we are not only dangerously unqualified but also we are WAY harsher on ourselves than our editors.

Then again, what do I know? I’m just a humble scribe, not an eagle-eyed editor.

Well, not yet, at least. JK, editorial team!

Either way, getting back to my list of geek qualifications, it really does run longer than the combined credits of a double-feature of “Gone with the Wind” and “Once Upon a Time in America.”

My fellow movie junkies get it: The collective running time for this particular double-bill is nearly the equivalent of an average work day. For reel, er, real.

Basically, these are two of the longest movies in the history of, you know, motion pictures.

Speaking of “The History of Motion Pictures,” did you know the first movie ever made was a 16-second-long film made in 1878 called “The Horse in Motion”? Or that 1888’s “Roundhay Garden Scene” is considered by many to be the first real movie ever released?

Or that the first full-length feature film with dialogue was 1927’s “The Jazz Singer”?

Fine, I AM a nerd, whatever. I admit it.

I love curling up under a blanket with a warm cup of coffee to catch a special airing of “The Kid,” “It Happened One Night” or “12 Angry Men.”

What’s that? You want to know who the kid is or what happened that night or why those dudes are so angry?

Well, well, well, looks like it’s dillweed PK to the synopsis rescue!

Kimerer is an old movie buff and basically a dork extraordinaire. Send classic film inquiries to her via www.patriciakimerer.com.

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