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PK dreams of sleep minus melting watches

You know how, after you’ve had a sleepless night, the next day is like, um, a living version of Salvador Dahli’s “The Persistence of Memory”?

You’ll recall his (arguably) most famous painting in which there are a bunch of melting stopwatches. And they’re on the beach. Oh, and one is sort of dangling from a barren tree. And it’s not a palm tree, It’s like a crabapple tree or something — even though it’s seaside. Or maybe lakeside?

Either way, it’s a leafless tree that doesn’t seem to belong where it stands and it’s leafless despite the fact that the rest of the scene is very summery.

The tree is growing out of big brown block of, I’m not sure what, and there are two other melting stopwatches hanging around and there’s, like, a pingpong table on the other side of the tree.

I dunno. Dahli never told anyone what it meant. All he ever said about the piece was that, he woke up in the middle of the night one night and saw cheese melting on his bedside stand.

Gross, man, how long was that cheese sitting there?

Anyway, after seeing the seeping Swiss, he got up and started painting his surreal masterpiece.

According to Wikipedia, “‘The Persistence of Memory’ alludes to the influence of scientific advances during Dali’s lifetime. The stark yet dreamlike scenery reflects a Freudian emphasis on the dream landscape while the melted watches may refer to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, in which the scientist references the distortion of space and time.”

Hmm.

Anyhoo, after you spend an entire evening watching every hour wrap up on your own nonmelting clock, the next day is as distorted as a dramatic Dahli drawing, duh.

Oh wait — some of you actually DON’T know about this? Then you’ve never had insomnia.

Yawn-infused sigh. You lucky little loungers, you.

There are many, many potential causes of insomnia. They might include but clearly aren’t limited to:

• Stress;

• Worry over work or school or finances — or, fill-in literally ANY blank;

• Health issues;

• A hectic travel or work schedule;

• Poor sleep habits;

• Eating too much late in the evening.

Whatever the cause, whatever the duration, the worst thing about insomnia (at least for me) is: it never REALLY goes away, yo.

Listen, I don’t eat late into the night. I’ve been working remotely since March of last year. I drink chamomile tea, take lavender baths and do my best to shut out the everyday worries humans have — which are stressful, at the very least. And I still can’t sleep more than two hours at a stretch.

Now, I don’t require a ton of sleep; I’ve been that way since I was a little girl. But my insomnia has gotten out of hand. In fact, I was so tired during the middle of the day one day last week that I feel asleep at my desk. Sitting straight up. At 3 p.m. For like, 11 full minutes.

I might have still been there if my head hadn’t lean itself backward far enough for me to thunk my head into the wall.

I don’t like the idea of taking pills to make me sleep but I do believe I may be reaching that point. Because if I go one more sleepless night, I may just leave my keys in the fridge and a skinless chicken breast in the lock, capisce?

Then again, maybe I’ll create a masterpiece and become a famous artist and be so financially set that I can Rip Van Winkle my way through the space-time continuum — at least for a night or two.

Kimerer is a sleepy columnist wishing y’all sweet dreams. Check out her loopy ramblings at www.patriciakimerer.com.

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