Who’s best of the best? Why mom, of course

My Sentiments Exactly

I am one lucky gal.

First — and of most significant wowzer factor– I am the mom of the world’s most fabulous human. Seriously.

No offense to the other Homo sapiens or anything. It’s just that for some reason, and through no particular worthiness on my part, I have been blessed with this remarkable offspring.

Tossing out phrases such as “proud of,” “amazed by,” “impressed with” and so on when referring to my fancy of this kid? Well, those would be lamer than Richard Nixon’s presidency in early August of ’74, a’ight?

Either way, what an honor, privilege and honest-to-the-Big-Guy joy it is for me to refer to this exceptional person as my son. Ti adoro figlio. I love, love, love ya, kiddo.

Then again, I’m extraordinarily fortunate on the receiving end, as well, yo.

My mom Arleen? Well, you probably recognize her from her photo alongside the definition of the “Greatest Mother of All Time” in that Guinness Book listing all the world’s records.

I love you more than words could ever convey, Mama.

Let’s not forget about my bonus mom, Pat. She is listed just below Arleen, for you reference guide junkies. Love you to the moon and back, Mum.

Anyhoo, in the spirit of all this mushiness and in observation of you-know-whom day today, I feel it’s only fair to remind the children of planet earth that, as long suspected, Mom’s always right.

Not buying it? Hmm … Allow me to toss out these refreshers:

He really WASN’T the one for you.

Yes, it hurt when he broke your heart. Yes, it was tortuous to watch him move on with your “best friend.” (BT Dubs, Mom warned you about her, as well. I digress.) Yes, you ate 14 gallons of Tin Lizzy ice cream in the immediate aftermath.

But he not only cheated on her and dropped out of college; he ended up with what’s-her-face, whose parents hate him. Not to mention, he’s since lost most of his teeth, all of his hair and what he had left of his dignity when he began giving his monster-in-law bi-monthly pedicures.

Besides, who kept holding your hand and buying the Pepto Bismol back then? Mom did — and gladly would anytime.

Missing that extra point won’t matter 20 years from now. Sure, it felt like the sun might fall right out of the sky that painful Saturday afternoon. Yup, a lot of your classmates gave you the cold-shoulder for months — until that other poor kid dropped what would’ve been the winning out in the state baseball championships the following spring.

But in the big scheme of life, not only is it insignificant (Um, hello? Pandemic, anyone?) but also, no one even remembers. Except maybe that one jerk teammate you had — and he gives his mother-in-law pedicures. Besides, his nifty pastime somehow got leaked to the equivalent of the local Page Six, the township Facebook page. #ThanksMom.

Honesty really IS the best policy. Test cheating, lap skipping, two timing your sweetie — none of these ever did or will end well. Besides, your integrity, sense of honor and penchant for standing up for what’s right not only landed you your dream job, but your soul mate. Ahem.

So give Mom a call, a hug, and a good, old-fashioned “love you” today. Flowers, chocolates or jewelry wouldn’t necessarily be out of line either, capisce?

Happy Mother’s Day, moms! And happy 63rd anniversary to my beloved Jean and Jerry Ruggieri, a couple I absolutely ADORE — and for darned good reason.

Kimerer is one lucky daughter and ridiculously proud Mom. Read more a’gushin’ at www.patriciakimerer.com.


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