Don’t let January take away the holiday joy
My Sentiments Exactly
Well, that’s it. It’s all over, done. Terminado. Kaput. Finito.
You know how, toward the end of “A Christmas Story,” Ralphie laments how the Bumpus Hounds robbed the Parkers not only of Christmas dinner but also so much more after they burst into the kitchen and devoured — or more aptly, obliterated — the family turkey?
“The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey hash! Turkey a la king! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!”
That’s how I feel about crummy old Jan. 3: It just plain stinks because it gobbled up my Christmas joy faster than those slobbery mutts mangled up that big ol’ bird.
Indeed, today is the post-holiday blues equivalent of the Parkers’ turkey as its picked-clean carcass lies helpless on the tile kitchen floor: empty, defeated and entirely devoid of holiday sparkle.
No Hallmark Christmas movie marathons! No 24/7 Christmas music live streaming on Pandora! No ugly Christmas sweaters, Christmas mittens, Christmas PJs, Christmas commercials or a bazillion Christmas lights. Gone, ALL GONE!
In fact, other than the tree and outside lights, (which go tomorrow, after The Epiphany), I already de-decked the halls. And stairs. And mantle. I literally started cleaning house at 12:04 a.m. Dec. 26.
Why? Though I adore all things Christmas, this one was the roughest I’ve had in the past 52. #MissMyDaddy #LoveYouPop
So you can understand why having everything merry and bright helped a whole heap. The thought of wrapping up festive wrapping season had me start scheming ways to keep that heavenly aroma hanging around the house a bit longer, you dig?
So here are some things it’s socially acceptable to keep displaying for, um, a while yet:
• Your Vanilla Bean Noel hand soap dispenser. In fact, put it under the sink until you finally get rid of all that Pumpkin Spiced Latte hand soap you loaded up on in October, yo;
• Your reindeer hand towels. Especially if they aren’t red and green. You can totally sell that as being a buck buff;
• Berry-scented candles. I mean, don’t light an unopened one or anything, but if you’ve got a triple-wick little number that’s already past 1/3 of the way used — burn, baby, burn!
• Anything adorned with snowmen or pine cones. I have a feeling it MAY still be cold and snowy for a bit around these parts. Totally appropriate;
• Anything adorned with cardinals. Gone away is the blue bird, after all. Poor little robins, too;
• Twinkling white lights. No one will get these off my mantle. Not now, not in July — in fact, not until next Saturday-after-Thanksgiving, capisce?
• Red and green M&Ms. Or red and green foiled Hershey Kisses. Or Rollos. Or Twix Bars. Or Christmas-tree shaped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups;
• Santa Claus or similarly-themed undergarments, since they’d better not be visible to the other humans, a’ight? Ditto any Grinch, Rudolph or Frosty motif socks hidden by trousers;
• The Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. Sorry, not sorry. This lifts my heart any day of the year. Sue me. Blare it as loudly as your speakers permit — so long as it doesn’t start to sound like his teacher’s humming it.
I guess that stretches things about as far as they can go. Oh, I almost forgot the biggie: anything professing peace on earth and good will to all. ‘Cause, hello?
— Kimerer is a seasonally disheartened columnist who still wishes everyone a Happy 2021. Contact her via www.patriciakimerer.com.